At first my baby's dad was there then he moved and it all changed

By anonymous on 02/01/2009

I am 16 years old and my 3 month old baby’s dad is 15 years of age. We planned her and we thought we were in love.

At first her daddy was there and he was so happy. He talked to my stomach all the time and he was there to bring me whatever I wanted, no matter when. He was there for me when I got put in the hospital, when I went into premature labour.

Then he moved away and it all changed. He wasn't there anymore. When I needed something I didn't have him to turn to. I found myself crying all night on some nights. Don't get me wrong I always loved my baby and nothing would change that. She was really the only thing that made me happy when I was crying over him.

Then when I was like 8 months, all we ever did was fight. He started to listen to his mom. She was against the whole pregnancy from the very beginning.

She filled his head so full of lies that it was like he wasn't himself anymore. He would call me out of nowhere and called me everything besides my name. I would hang up and he would just call me right back. It was like I couldn't get away from him.

It hurt me so bad because I thought that we were in this together. I never knew I would end up on my own. I thought that he loved me but now I know differently.

Even though all this stuff went on, I have a beautiful daughter that I love more than anything. She looks just like her daddy. She is healthy and happy. She loves me and I love her. I don’t know how she feels about her daddy because she has only seen him five times since she was born but, even though he pulled all this crap, I know that he loves her.

Well, that is my story. It may not be sweet and nice, but it's the truth.

Editor's comment

Thanks for sharing your story with us… It sounds like you both had idealistic expectations of being parents of your little girl, but it seems your boyfriend has been confronted with the reality of what being a father really means. Perhaps he’s afraid of the responsibility, or he's responding to his mother's fears for his future, or perhaps he’s just plain confused about what’s happened to him at such a young age. Whatever it is, he is trying to achieve something positive for himself, even through this negative behaviour towards you and your baby. Love is not about those wonderful feelings that we all experience at the start of a relationship, but it's a decision to be faithful, committed through thick and thin and, quite often, self-sacrificing when you feel like doing the opposite. Don’t concentrate on what you are not getting from your boyfriend... you have no control over that. Concentrate instead on what you now need to give in order to take care of your child and your relationship with her. It might help you to seek support from the helpline called Optionline 800-395-HELP if you are in the States.

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