At 16 I found myself pregnant

By anonymous on 16/07/2010
I'm gonna try to tell this story the best I can but to be honest I don't talk about it much so it's not gonna be that...coherent.
Basically, a year ago I had (what seemed like, though now I know better) the best boyfriend ever, and I thought nothing of it when we had sex, which I believed was protected. After we were done he told me the truth that it wasn't protected, so the next day my first port of call was the clinic for a morning after pill. It didn't work.

At 16 I found myself pregnant

So at 16, half way through my GCSE's with a boyfriend who I had been with for hardly anytime at all I found myself pregnant.
At first the only few people to know was my best friend, a youth worker I trusted, and my boyfriend who played the 'I will always love you' card. Obvious to say within a week he had changed his tune considerably, and after breaking down to my mum I felt obligated to go along with a termination.
On our one month (told you it wasn't long) I went to go and sign the papers, with no one for support. My boyfriend hadn't shown up. After that we never spoke again, I broke up with him that night and the next time I saw him after surgery he had another girl draped over his lap.

I find it really hard to talk about the surgery

I have for the most part blocked it all out of my mind; the smells, the sights, the emotions, are gone. Sometimes I'll remember flashes and recently they have become more frequent spiralling off my depression, which I can say I am getting help for. But I can say repression isn't the cure! All it does is build a wall, and even the strongest walls do come tumbling down.
It's hard to say 'no' to something with so many people telling you what they believe to be the best for you, well learn from this only YOU know what is the best for you and only YOU can deal with. Don't make my mistake because one year on I'm still paying for it, and will be for many years to come.

Editor's Comment

I know that when you are young and get pregnant everyone assumes abortion is the right option, and I'm sure you had comments like 'it will ruin your life' and 'finish your education first'. While these are all valid points, I think for some people having the baby and finishing their schooling afterwards can be an option. No one can pretend it would be easy but the abortion has obviously been difficult and painful for you, and perhaps made it hard to concentrate on studying. I am glad you are getting help, and if you felt you needed more support you could ring the national helpline 0300 4000 999, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.

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