I am 16 and had an abortion today
I had a medical abortion todayI'm 16. I was almost 7 weeks pregnant when I had a medical abortion today. I've been with my other half almost 8 months now, and he has been my rock throughout this whole ordeal. We were using contraception (condoms) so it was a complete shock to find out I was pregnant. Aswell as, at the time, greiving for the loss of my relationship. We'd just agreed to seperate because we are both leaving to go to uni on opposite sides of the country in 9 months time. But I told him as soon as I found out, he was in shock the same as I was. He got sick he was so worried about me, and what to do.
We talked and criedWe met up and sat in the car for ages talking, crying, and going through the options. We both agreed we weren't going to keep it, because of uni, the fact I have a week of driving lessons booked in a months time and my car waiting for me in the garage.
I don't believe in abortionBut I'd always said I don't believe in abortion. He seemed pretty set on that option though, even though I'd s aid my first choice would be to have the child adopted. He told me he wouldn't be able to deal with it, and didn't know if we could even still be friends. It got me to really consider abortion. I thought about all the pro's and con's, and decided it's the most sensible option, and the one that would be quickest and easiest, to save on mental and physical pain.
After I'd agreed, I went to see my GP, who referred me to the closest Marie Stopes centre to me. This was still a 50 minute drive, but my other half promised to drive me, and support me the whole time. The first consultation was done over the phone, the woman sounded very bored, and drummed through lots of medical conditions I had to answer yes or no to, most being no. Then she booked me an appointment for the following Wednesday.. after christmas.
I liked being pregnantI think I actually liked being pregnant, the days up to the first appointment at the clinic came sooner than I'd hoped, but I knew I had to do it. At the first appointment, I was seen pretty quickly after arriving, but told I wasn't allowed my partner with me while I had my scan and bloodtest. I was surprised and scared after being told this as a friend who had the same treatment had told me you are allowed whoever is with you to stay with you until you have your actual treatment.
So I went upstairs with this awful lady. She ordered me to check some details then pull my jeans and underwear down so she could scan. She had no sensitivity whatsoever, and the fact I'm a very private person didn't seem to deter her at all. She pulled them down, covering my modesty only slightly, shoved a bit if tissue in my waistband, then warned me of the gel being cold after she'd squeezed it onto my stomach. She didn't bother to turn the screen round so I saw my tiny 6 week old baby next to me, unharmed as of yet.
I fell into my partner's arms in tearsI got upset, but tried to hold back my tears. She then didn't seem to care that I was petrified of needles and did the finger-prick test in a second, then ushering me back to waiting room with a bit of cotton wool and a leaflet to read. I fell into my partner's arms in tears, and then had to wait over an hour and a half to be seen by thankfully, another, nicer nurse. She explained what the pill would do and what to bring with me the following day. After about 5 minutes holding the pill and water in each hand, I swallowed it and walked out. I felt completely fine, as if it had no effect on me. I just felt slightly upset still.
I returned at the same time the following day (today) and was left waiting only minutes before the first nurse came to get me. She seemed a bit nicer today but still explained everything as if she was bored of it, gave me the four pills to put between my gums and cheeks, then shooed me out to "go straight home" even though the leaflet I'd been given said I had the option to stay at the clinic for a while if I wished.
With a long drive home and the possibility of being sick and cramping within 20 minutes, I'd rather have stayed a while to check I was going to be ok. But I went, thankfully got home before anything major happened, and he left me to rest. No longer than half an hour after getting in, the cramps intensified very quickly, I could feel myself bleeding and I suddenly felt very nauseous, despite not having suffered from morning sickness much at all during the pregnancy. I went to the bathroom because the pill also gave me awful diarrhoea. There was alot of clotted blood, and whatever else. So I just stayed there, then the pain got almost unbearable. I felt like I was dying. I threw up into the bucket in front of me, and just sat there, not being able to move much or cry because the pain was that bad. At the time it felt like forever but it lasted no more than 45 minutes.
I went to bedI eventually cleaned myself up and made it to bed, where the pain kept coming in waves but I no longer felt the need for the toilet or to be sick. I could still feel alot of blood coming out of me and was just scared incase I saw the "pregnancy" in my sanitary towel. But after the pain had gone for a while, I had felt alot better, eaten something, and thrown it back up, I felt a need to change my sanitary towel (you'll need to do this very often at first) and unluckily saw a very large clot of blood come out and drop into the toilet. I believe this was the main matter.
The pain subsided for a while again after that, and I felt better. It keeps coming in waves, like very very strong period pain, but a hot water bottle and a glass of cold water helps, and it seems to be dying down slowly. I swallowed all 4 anti-biotic tablets I was given, and depsite reading that these make you feel sick or be sick again, so far I'm ok. It's been very draining, physically and emotionally, and I dont think I'll ever get over, nor forget it, but it was defintely one of the most sensible decisions I've made. I hope sharing my experience will help some people with making the right decision, whatever that may be.
Editor's CommentThank you for posting your experience on the site so quickly. You have had a very difficult day and have gone through a lot physically, emotionally and mentally. It sounds like the medical process itself was straightforward. Your description of your experience is fairly typical amongst our contributors. However, I am concerned that you made this decision against your personal beliefs and that you came under a lot of pressure not to look at adoption, even though you stated that this would have been your first choice. These two factors are a stressful combination and may mean that you experience feelings of anger and regret later. Given that you liked being pregnant, seeing the scan picture of the baby understandably made today even harder for you. For the next few days and weeks, please be kind to yourself, you have come through a lot and will probably need time and space to process what's happened. For support during that time, and at any point in the future, please follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area. a>
This story was sent in on 13/01/2011