A surgical abortion
By anonymous on 19/07/2011January 2008 and I met someone while working in my local pub and completely fell for his charms. Four weeks later I had a very weird feeling that I was pregnant, at the time my daughter was 8yrs of age so knew what it was like to be pregnant. My world slowing fell apart, what was I to do? I had fallen pregnant the first time I had slept with him. What a mess, I was 11yrs older than him and a single Mum already. When I was 19 I had an abortion and swore that I would never do it again as I really struggled to come to terms with what I did, why did I not learn from then. What an emotional roller coaster the next month was, one day we were keeping it then the next we were not..I always wanted to keep it but he was so young and didn't know his own mind. Because of this I booked myself in without even thinking what it would do to me, I was just going along with it, now I wish I was stronger.
I still don't know to this day why I did go through with it, I wanted my baby.The day I went in for a surgical abortion I was numb, just going through the motions, every part of me didn't want to be there but this unknown force was taking me there.
I still struggle to write this over 3yrs on and with the help I have received. Before I looked for help my whole world had fallen apart, needless to say my relationship with the Dad didn't last, normal life did not exist, I struggled to look after my daughter, and my family had to help.
I suffered physical pain in the mornings, suicidal thoughts and I could not stop crying. If I saw any pregnant women it was like a stab in the heart, I couldn't go anywhere near friends babies or go near baby shops. Due dates and anniversaries of the date I terminated my baby were horrendous. It came to March 2010 and I was destroying myself and my daughter so I looked for help.