Never let anyone else influence your decision
I felt so torn and before I knew it had been booked in for an abortion.In those couple of weeks deep down I knew I wanted to keep the baby but I didn't want to lose my boyfriend. When it came to the day my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone and was late meeting me, so I went for a walk and kept thinking I really want this baby. I felt so confused and didn't know what to do. His dad managed to get hold of him and we picked him up on the way to the hospital. He stank of alcohol and I didn't comment at the time, too much was going on in my head.
As we were so late for the appointment the nurse said I didn't have time to speak to the duty counsellor so that I could talk to them about my decision. Before I went into theatre he said I love you and we will get through this. Before I knew it I was coming round but when I properly woke I couldn't stop crying, I realised what I had done.
My mum took me home and he said he would come round later to see me. He never came, he didn't answer his calls for weeks, then I found out he had been cheating on me for months. So I lost him and my baby in the same day.
I have always been told the pain you feel will get easy as it goes on but for me it hasn't since that day. I felt so empty most of the time like my heart has been ripped out. There is not one day that goes by that I don't think of it.