Never let anyone else influence your decisionBy anonymous on 12/08/2011
I am now 23 and had an abortion when I was 15. I had just split up with my boyfriend that I really thought was the one. I found out I was pregnant when I was 8 weeks and told him. He didn't react too well at first but then we decided to give our relationship another go. I understand now why he wanted to. He then decided after a week if I was to keep my baby he wouldn't stay with me and didn't want anything to do with the baby. At the time I wasn't close to either of my parents. My dad wouldn't comment and my mum said it is up to you but I don't agree with you having a baby.
I felt so torn and before I knew it had been booked in for an abortion.In those couple of weeks deep down I knew I wanted to keep the baby but I didn't want to lose my boyfriend. When it came to the day my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone and was late meeting me, so I went for a walk and kept thinking I really want this baby. I felt so confused and didn't know what to do. His dad managed to get hold of him and we picked him up on the way to the hospital. He stank of alcohol and I didn't comment at the time, too much was going on in my head.
As we were so late for the appointment the nurse said I didn't have time to speak to the duty counsellor so that I could talk to them about my decision. Before I went into theatre he said I love you and we will get through this. Before I knew it I was coming round but when I properly woke I couldn't stop crying, I realised what I had done.
My mum took me home and he said he would come round later to see me. He never came, he didn't answer his calls for weeks, then I found out he had been cheating on me for months. So I lost him and my baby in the same day.
I have always been told the pain you feel will get easy as it goes on but for me it hasn't since that day. I felt so empty most of the time like my heart has been ripped out. There is not one day that goes by that I don't think of it.