A follow up story to a medical abortion
I wrote in last week about my medical abortion and how I was waiting for my follow up scan. I have now seen it appear on the website and thought I'd complete the story.....
Two weeks after my 8 week medical abortion I had to have a follow up scan as the products of pregnancy were not passed during my time in hospital. Whereas my first scan had taken place on the ward where I had my abortion this second scan was in the ultrasound unit which meant I was sat waiting with happily pregnant women. I did occasionally think "that could've been me" but generally I was not bothered at the change of location.
The doctor who did my second scan was very nice, even making me laugh while she rolled over my tummy. Unfortunately I had not drank enough and she could not see so asked if she could perform an internal scan. Usually I would be quite shy of getting my bits out but after the last few weeks it seemed normal. I was expecting it to be sore but I preferred it to the abdominal scan, which had really pressed against my bladder and been uncomfortable, but this was painless and much clearer on screen. Afterwards I had to sit in the waiting room & wait for a report to be typed up that I was to take with me back to the ward I had been on.
After a short wait I was back in the abortion ward and seeing the nurse I had on a previous visit. She said she was happy to officially discharge me as the follow up scan had showed my womb to be empty (meaning I had indeed passed the embryo/fetus on my first toilet visit after leaving hospital) and my chlamydia test to be negative. I had read a few stories about women asking to see/ have their scan picture and I thought it was something I would like to do. However due to my emotional distress at other visits and this final one I was refused. She did let my see the scan, which was taken at 7+3 weeks. I couldn't really make anything out so she pointed out the fetus which was in the top left corner and barely visable and most importantly for me not "baby shaped". I was happy to have been shown and understand her reasons for refusing my request to keep a copy. I guess a constant reminder would have set me back on my path to come to terms with what I have done although I can picture the scan clearly in my head.
I have also seen the father for the first time since I got pregnant and had the abortion. It helped me alot to talk things through with him, although my friends are great I don't know if they fully understand my decision. Most of all I just wanted him to hug me and say I did the right thing, which he did. I guess as my ex and now father to my first pregnancy we will always have a bond, although I realise now I need to get over him and move on.
I still have wobbly days, still have the occasional cry and will probably always wonder "what if" but I just have to remember I did the best thing for me, the father and our baby. Writing both my abortion and follow up stories has also helped me, I have the pages saved on my laptop. I hope both can be of use to women in a similar position just as other women's stories have helped me :)
Thanks for the update. I am glad that there was no complication and that you had passed the pregnancy. It sounds as though writing your experience and talking to the father of the baby has helped you to process some of your grief and hopefully move on in your journey of recovery.