I had an abortion 2 months ago and I can't get over it.

I had an abortion about 2 months ago and I can't get over it.
I think about it everyday and what's worst is I wanted the baby so much but my boyfriend didn't want the baby at all. He said we were too young(I'm 15 and he's 18) and he didn't have a job.
I think if he wanted it I would have kept it.
He seemed to think I wanted all this to happen because I always used to say "I can't wait to have a baby". I try to talk to him about it but he just ignores me.

I cry all the time but he's just too selfish to think about my feelings.

Even while I was going though the abortion he didn't care, never phoned me-nothing. Then when it was all over he came back. I even asked him if he was upset about it and he said nope, I hate him so much but I can't be without him.. I feel so alone I don't know what to do.
My sister's also just had a baby which makes it x10 worst for me. I want my baby back so bad, I'd do anything to turn back the clock and do what I wanted to do.

Editor's Comment

You are feeling sad and grieving for your lost hopes and dreams. It is very hard when you feel that you have been pushed into a decision that you did not want, and you have to live with the consequences of that decision. Your sister's baby is a constant reminder to you of what you have lost. I think it is important that you talk to someone about your feelings, and try to work through some of these painful emotions. You can call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.
This story was sent in on 26/01/2012

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