A regreted medical abortion.By anonymous on 19/05/2012
I'm eighteen years old. I'm a mother, student, and wife.
I found out I was expecting the night before my 18th birthday.. I was crushed. I didn't know what to do. I have a seven month old son already, my marriage is barely surviving, I'm barely passing my classes, I can't even afford my pg&e let alone another baby is what was running in my head.
I cried for three days wondering what I was going to do.I could do adoption but deep down I knew I'd grow to love my baby and couldn't give it away.
I remember when I was 38 weeks pregnant and my cousin had an abortion I was highly disgusted when she asked to hold my baby 13 days later..
Seven months later I found myself being a hyprocrite asking her information on where she went, what they did, and how she felt.
A week later I made my appointment to watch the video of the process and get my ultrasound, the following friday I found myself taking the pill to stop my baby from growing.. I stayed strong until I stepped outside of the clinic.
I broke down realizing I wanted my baby... But it was too late.I couldn't save it now. The next day I did the process of taking the vicodon and four misoprostol in my cheek for thirty mins then swallow. I fell asleep.. waiting for the pain and bleeding.
Three hours later I felt like I was in labor and went to use the restroom and a huge "clot" with my baby was in the toilet. I instantly fell to the floor in complete tears and pain.
I killed my baby. I took its chance to walk, talk, smile, and most of all to live. It's only been a week but I feel so much pain inside. "What if" is always in my head. I wonder what it would of looked like, the things that it would of smiled at and laughed at. I wish I could take it all back and let my baby live a happy life but I can't. I want my baby back.