I opted for the medical abortion at 7 weeks.

I was 14 when I was raped and fell pregnant although I am very aware of the fact I was too young to care for a newborn it was still a hard decision to make.
My parents came with me and I had all the support I could wish for. I opted for the surgical abortion as I wanted it over quickly. I found out on the Wednesday I was pregnant and on the Saturday I was having the procedure, then life went on.

At 19 I met somebody and we were together for 2 1/2 years throughout this relationship neither of us used contraception and not once did we get caught out and I thought naively that I couldn't fall pregnant because of my termination a few years back. Little did I know that 7 months later after a stupid fling I was to fall pregnant.
I kept the pregnancy from the father for as long as I could because my mum was telling me he wouldn't want to know.
In the end I made the decision of telling him and at the beginning he was really supportive asked me what I wanted to do,and gave me his feelings (he didn't want it) and I wasn't sure if I could go through the experiance again.

Then things turned nasty me and my parents were fighting, my mum told me if I kept it I would be a single mother and she wouldn't be there for me and I would have no family by my side. The father told me if I keep it he didn't want anything to do with it. I felt everyone was against me.
Then I made the decision to keep it and be a single mum because I'm adult enough to face my responsibilities but it didn't end there. I had my mum come round and scream awful things at her own daughter such as 'I hope you miscarry'.
The only way out I felt was if I went along with everybody else's decision so I opted for the medical abortion this time at 7 weeks and 3 days.
I wasn't aware of what the actual procedure entailed just it was a pill. I took the first pill on the Wednesday and was in hospital on the Friday from 08.45 until 1700.

It was the most horrific experience I have ever endured

I wasn't aware I would have to stay in until it passed and the pain was unbearable.
My mum insisted on coming with me because she wanted to support me (a little too late). At one point I was on all fours willing it would just be over. I went to the toilet and thought I had passed it. I was hysterical only to be told it wasn't it was 2 big clots. Then the pain just went and I was laid on the bed for another hour and decided to go clean myself up only when I sat on the bed pan "it" fell out. By this point I was too exhausted to cry I just looked at it (which I do not recommend, it will haunt me until the day I die).
I was discharged from the hospital mum took me to the car and had the nerve to turn to me and say "I would have come round" not something I wanted to hear.

That was 6 months ago and today I've just been told my sister-in-law is pregnant. As much as I am happy for her and pleased that my brother has faced his responsibility, I'm deeply hurt with my mum. She never gave me the support that I wanted all she was bothered about was being a grandmother again at a young age, but she will love this grandchild as much as she loves her other grandchild but she won't accept mine how is this fair? The father of the baby I aborted (who I haven't spoke to since the day of the termination) is now happily engaged after ruining my life. I will never forget the people in question for what they put me through but I write to you woman to tell you it's always your decision don't let people persuade you otherwise because it suits them. I will always live with this regret but you don't have to

Editor's Comment

It is very hard to feel so let down by people you are close to. You were put under a lot of pressure to choose abortion and it's difficult to cope with that when you feel vulnerable in the early stages of pregnancy. You sound as though you felt very let down by your mum and it may take a lot of work to restore that relationship.
If you would like post abortion support please contact us. You can call the national helpline, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.
This story was sent in on 07/01/2013 and it's been viewed 351 times.

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