I had the abortion today
By anonymous on 28/01/2013I'm 24 and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost two and a half years, we're crazy about each other and have always talked about marriage and children.
I graduated from university last summer and am currently working full time but searching for my dream job.
I moved to a different city in September and didn't register at a doctors for a while, I'd run out of my contraception and kept putting off going and getting more. Me and my boyfriend continued to have sex, trying to be careful, looking back it was a stupid idea. I'd been on the pill for 5 years and even before that my periods were always very regular. My period in December was over a week early, but I put it down to a diet I was on, I've never had a healthy relationship with my weight and had been taking some weight loss tablets as well. I'd had a look online and learnt that low carb diets can cause your periods to be early.
My period in January was late, I expected my period on a Saturday and by Tuesday I was in a state of panic. I bought two pregnancy tests that morning, the first came back with an invalid result, the second came back negative. I left both in my bag as I was in work, for some reason I had a second look at the negative one on my lunchbreak before I was about to throw it away and saw a positive result. I remember reading the instructions that clearly stated do not read after 10 minutes, it had been an hour or so. I went to see my GP they evening who pretty much said I was being stupid, I wasn't pregnant, he wouldn't let me do another test, just advised me to wait another week.
I waited until my period was 7 day late and did two more home tests they came back positive. My heart sank. I called Marie Stopes minutes later to find out what to do next, at this I felt reluctant to go back to my GP. They went though the options with me and estimated I was around 5 weeks pregnant dating back to my period in December. I was booked in for a surgical abortion not the following Monday but the week after.
The next week I spent panicking I was terrified my period in December was maybe a false alarm and I'd been pregnant even longer. I'd been having unprotected sex since October.
I spent a lot of time using the Internet to try and find out what the procedure and pain would be like.
I had the abortion today and have to say it was as good as the experience could have been if I can say that, I went in at half 9, had my blood tested, and had a scan. The scan was strange I could not see the screen but I could see the nurse's face and the refection of it in her eyes. This is where I felt guilt and like the most selfish person in the world, she confirmed I was around 6 weeks and that 'it' was 'teeney tiny'' she explained that the surgical abortion would take around 3 minutes because of the size. I chose to be sedated. I went through to the waiting room and was called straight away and taken to the operating room. I lay down and had to put my feet in stirrups I then had a needle in my arm and was given the anaesthetic, I don't remember anything after that until being told it was over, then next I remember sitting down in a room full of girls coming round. I wasn't in any pain, I just felt spaced out. I was given water and a biscuit and sat there for another 30 minutes.
I was given a weeks antibiotics and an aftercare helpline and booklet and 2 more pregnancy tests, I am to do those in 3 weeks time.
I stupidly went back to work that afternoon and fainted twice. I hadn't told work what had happened I said I'd been for blood tests. I would recommend at least a day off, although I felt fine a lot had happened to my body and I clearly should have rested.
I've had no pain this evening, I feel relieved but at the same time so guilty.
I hope this helps anyone going through the same thing. My boyfriend has been amazing throughout.
