I had a medical termination at 6 weeks in July 2012.By anonymous on 06/03/2013
I had a medical termination at 6 weeks in July 2012. I discovered I was pregnant almost straight away, a few days after a missed period. I was not in a relationship with the father, who reacted to the news by telling me he is not able to have children so he could not be the father, and then breaking any contact with me. I knew 100% he was the father.
Age 32 this was the first time I had been pregnant, and after trying to conceive 2 years before with a previous partner for approximately 4 months with no success I felt happy to actually be pregnant and also in shock as this was not planned. I did 4 home tests to make sure.
I felt in a daze as though the situation was not realI also felt certain I would not continue with the pregnancy. Apart from the father showing no support and breaking contact I would also be half way through my second year of a professional degree on my due date. In addition I was just about managing financially providing for myself. I have always wanted children but felt sure I didn't want to bring a child into the world under these circumstances. Particularly as I do not know my own father and grew up in a single parent family where my mother struggled financially, and did not want that for my own child.
Within a week at 5 weeks I went to the Dr who referred me for a consultation. The nurse was friendly and non-judgmental which helped as I was already feeling guilt and alone as I felt ashamed to tell anyone. However I did feel part of a process of females coming in and out being asked the same questions. Looking back I needed something personal which should have been from a friend or family member. I advise anyone not to do this alone.
I also had a dating scan which confirmed I was 5 weeks. I asked to see the scan but was strongly advised not too. When I persisted I was told that as I was so early there was nothing to see. I think I was told this as seeing the scan may cause me distress. I do wonder whether I would have changed my mind seeing it. I wonder whether I should have been more persistent or whether it was good for me not to see. Despite a lot of conflicting emotions that day I remained certain I was doing the right thing.
The following week at 6 weeks I went into hospital to orally receive the first tablet. I experienced a conflict in my mind on whether I should take the tablet right up to it being handed to me by the nurse. Though once handed to me I took it just thinking "this is it your decision is made". Although not unfriendly the nurse was very clinical and matter of fact. I should have had a friend or family member there. I had to return to hospital 2 days later. During the two days I felt very odd and strange sensations. I am not sure whether this was due to the tablet or my emotional state. The father contacted me during this period where I informed him what I had done. He did not offer any support but attempted to engage further in a casual relationship with me, which I declined. I did not hear from him after this. Although I still felt certain the decision was right I had great feelings of guilt and being selfish. I wanted to tell someone but felt very ashamed of myself. I returned to hospital 2 days later at 8:30 am as requested. I was told I would go home at around 2 pm. At 9 pm 2 further tablets were inserted with an instrument similar to a tampon. I had a hospital bed and the curtains were drawn for my privacy. I was offered food and drink throughout my time there. Again nursing staff were not unfriendly but very clinical and matter of fact. I really wanted friendly support and someone who cared.