I had a medical abortion privately yesterday.
I can honestly say I've never felt so sick in my lifeAlthough it's a known side effect to feel sick, this nausea definitely wasn't what I expected. After a very rough night feeling sick and constantly wretching (but not actually vomiting), I returned 24 hours later with the baby's father for support. I was told I needed someone to drive me back home and was relieved that the next appointment only lasted 15 mins. I was given 4 misoprostol tablets to place between my lips and gum and had to massage them into my gums until fully dissolved. The baby's father then drove me back to his flat and within about 30 mins of being in the car, I could feel I was really very damp and felt like blood would soon be soaking through my 2 extra absorbent pads, 2 knickers, shorts and leggings! I was right! As soon as I got out of the car and ran to the bathroom I'd realised I was leaking but luckily managed to sit on the toilet on time so the rest of the clots could drop out. Sounds very detailed and gruesome but I bled a lot! I changed into fresh clothes and pads and after about 30 mins I could feel myself drop a HUGE amount of blood and ran to the toilet again. In total this happened 4 times and in the 4 hours since taking the medication I'd lost more blood than I'd ever lost throughout a whole period. Thankfully I did not have any cramping as I'd been taking regular paracetamol and now that it's a day later, I seem to have stopped bleeding and have slight spotting.
Today I'm filled with feelings of guiltI'm upset that this baby I'd grown attached to has now left me and the baby's father has flown out of the country on holiday so I don't have him to speak to either. My emotions have been harder to deal with than the abortion itself and I feel today has been most difficult of all. I just want to advise anyone going down the medical abortion route that be sure of your decision, make sure you're prepared with lots and lots and lots of highly absorbent sanitary towels and dress appropriately because if you're anything like me, you'll leak through it all! And most importantly make sure you have support, not just for the appointments but afterwards.
Editor's CommentOften the focus is so much on the physical procedure and what you may experience that emotions get pushed aside. When these surface it can be painful and difficult to deal with especially if there is no one to talk to about how you feel. There is a very good post abortion support programme called The Journey which helps to process some of the feeling and emotions you describe. You can call the national helpline, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.
This story was sent in on 07/08/2013