I had a medical abortion in June this year.
I want to share my story with you and many other women out there that may be deciding to go through with an abortion or who already have. Reading other peoples stories on their emotional and physical recovery after an abortion helped me a lot, especially emotionally. I had a medical abortion in June this year.
I found out I was pregnant after missing my period at the beginning of May this year. I was 23 at the time coming 24. I waited a few days and decided to do a pregnancy test. I took the test which came up positive. I told my fiance that night and he automatically knew what we had to do. There wasn't any conversation around the subject other than we couldn't keep it as we weren't financially ready. I booked a Doctors appointment for a few days later.
A lot of things went through my mind over the next two weeks with what my fiancé said and what he didn't say. I am not one for being big on sharing my emotions, that's why in some way this has helped by writing everything down. I really badly wanted to go to university to study in the career I had chosen and better myself for a better future. We had plans set in place to get married next year and financially I know deep down that we would liked to have been a lot better than we were at the time especially with arranging a wedding.
My partner attended the Doctors appointment with me and I was given a number by my Doctor to ring to book in for the abortion.
I went away and phoned the number still thinking if this was the right thing to do. They booked me in for a consultation meeting for the next day which I went along to and was asked a few questions. They then arranged an appointment for the following week at the closest Marie Stopes clinic. I attended on the appointment date where the staff were really helpful and nice, I couldn't have asked for better. I was saw by an initial nurse who had to do a scan to see how far along I was which was 05 weeks.
She couldn't tell something which I am not sure what it was so she had to do an internal scan. This didn't work and she said that because I was so early in the pregnancy that they couldn't carry out the abortion until clear on what they were looking for - I believe it was to see if it was ectopic, I could be wrong. They arranged for me to attend an appointment for exactly a weeks time where they said everything was fine and ran some more tests which included one to rule out if I was anaemic and HIV which were both clear.
At this stage I was exactly 06 weeks. I was asked again if this was what I wanted and was asked to sign some paperwork for them to carry out the abortion. I signed this and was then given two tablets to swallow with some water. These tablets were to start the abortion process off by weakening the lining of the womb. I was told to come back the following day for the second part of the abortion. I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to drive and that it would be best if my partner took me home after the second part tomorrow.
The following day I returned with my partner and waited to be seen. Unfortunately he wasn't allowed through the doors and I had to go in on my own. I was scared and didn't want to do it alone, but when I got through there was a few other girls in there that had just come out of another room after having a surgical abortion, they looked like they had been through the mill.
The nurse sat me down in the same room as everyone else which being shy didn't help my nerves at all. She went through a booklet with me about after care and about what contraception I wanted after the abortion. I had already decided and told the nurse the previous day and the week before that I wanted the implant so she asked me to lie on the bed and started the procedure of fitting the implant into my left arm. She then sat me down by her desk and gave me some antibiotics to swallow. I took them and was given some more to take home and to the following day along with the booklet from earlier. I was then given 02 large pills to place either side of my gums until they dissolved. I sat for about 10-15 minutes when the nurse noticed that I needed an injection as my blood type was negative. She lead me to the toilet and the needle was placed in my left bum cheek. I was then asked if I was alright and if the pills in my mouth had started to dissolve. They had started to and she said I should go home now and that I was alright to go.
I felt weak walking back to the main reception area where my partner was and as we were walking down the stairs and out through the main doors I burst into tears. I don't know why this was, but managed to get to the car without too much of a commotion. When we got home I changed into some comfy PJ's and had a hot water bottle ready for me and tried to settle into bed.
No sooner had I done this I had to go to the toilet and was sick everywhere. I also had very bad stomach at the same time and this is when the bleeding started. It was agony if I am honest and was like this for the rest of the Wednesday afternoon, night and only started to feel a little better into the following day. I couldn't go to work the next day but foolishly I returned to work the day after that, still not 100%. I was feeling better by the Monday but I still didn't feel 100% until around 5-6 weeks later.
Some of the posts I have read on here mention that the medical abortion is like a heavy period. I would disagree personally. I have never witnessed worse pain but you will get through it. I understand everyone is different and everyone will experience a different outcome.
Its now been 11 weeks since I had my abortion and I still feel sad but try to remember that it is for the best as I believe everyone has the right to make their own decisions in life. Don't let anyone get you down or make you feel bad for what you have done or are considering to do. Only you can make that decision and it is a very hard one. I do think that it is best if you can have that one person who you can talk to about it all, a best friend, mom or partner that won't judge but listen to you and help you to feel better.
Editor's CommentThanks for sharing your experience of medical abortion. Sometimes writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you to work through your emotions. It is often hard to get over an experience when you have had extreme physical pain as it can leave you in shock and feels like a constant reminder of what has happened.
Please contact the national helpline if you would like some more support.