I absolutely had to get an abortion.

I'm 16 years old, and my boyfriend is 18. We have been dating for about a year now, and about a week ago I found out I was pregnant. I panicked. I literally had no one to go to. I called my boyfriend and sobbed over the phone and he said we'd talk about it. But I knew deep down that I absolutely had to get an abortion. The problem is the closest doctor for that is 3 hours away, and although I don't need my parents, I did need to get over there. With the circumstances at hand my boyfriend and I made due. We couldn't tell anyone. We stayed silent to everyone but two very close friends.

We ordered a medical abortion kit online. At this point by my own calculation (I keep track of these things) I was 8 weeks when we received it. I took the first pill, and felt nauseated almost instantly, but held everything down throughout the night. The next morning I got up and dry-heaved because nothing was in my stomach. Today, I have to take the vaginal one and I'm so scared because my boyfriend can't be here for me through all this pain but if I don't take it today things will go wrong. I hope to God this isn't some phony kit that is messing me up. I hope I'm following everything right, because this is my life and future going all on one pill. I'm so scared.

On top of that, after I found out, I was instantly attached to my baby. I decided that it was a girl and her name was Penelope Rose. I talked to her all the time and made sure she knew I loved her and was so sorry. But I can't give her a life outside of the womb anyway. I'm 16, and being a mother isn't an option. Adoption isn't either because I would be so attached I couldn't let go. And the foster system is over-flowing as it is. The best way to protect her was this and it killed me. I cried a lot. But now that the first pill is done I am getting to a point where I know that I did the right thing. My boyfriend was attached as well, and loved her and me very dearly. He's being a wonderful man about all of this and is supporting me in whatever I choose. We are all just concerned about my ability to do this alone. But I can't turn back now can I? And now I have to go and take the second one... wish me luck.

Editor's Comment

I am really concerned for you. Using a medical abortion kit that you have got online is a dangerous thing to do. There is no regulation on the drugs, dosage and strength, and there are medical questions that need to be checked such as your blood group that are very important for your own health and a subsequent pregnancy. I would advise you to see a doctor as soon as you can to get medical advice. Please contact us for more help and support You can call the national helpline, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.
This story was sent in on 05/10/2013 and it's been viewed 259 times.

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