I took the morning after pill but it didn't work.

I found out I was pregnant after my period was 5 days late. I had taken the morning after pill which didn't work. I was totally devastated and panicking when I found out. As soon as I had found out it was in my mind to have an abortion I never thought any other. I tried to call my boyfriend for 4 days he never answered his mobile, I didn't want to tell him by text I thought that wasn't fair and something like that needed to be talked about together.
I was getting more and more upset that I couldn't get hold of him. I gave up trying to call him and text him. He called me straight away (but he didn't understand me, I explain why further on). In the end I booked an appointment with Marie Stopes and went ahead with the medical abortion method. Marie Stopes were brilliant and so helpful and understanding, everything was explained to me and what to expect.
My scan showed I was 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I had the first pill on a Friday and started slightly bleeding on the Saturday. I had no pain at all. On the Monday I had the second pill and within an hour of returning home I started bleeding very heavily but again no pain. I passed many small clots quite quickly and then in the afternoon suddenly had a lot of cramps and pain and passed a large clot followed by a cluster of smaller clots. I had a small amount of pain for about 3 hours which I took 2 paracetamol. This was the only time I had any pain. I finished bleeding about 5 days later.
The clinic gave me antibiotics before the second pill and I had 4 pills inserted in me internally. The clinic also gave me 2 pregnancy tests to take home. One to take 3 weeks after my second pill which showed negative and the other one I have to take next Monday just to be safe and sure.
I now find I am struggling emotionally after the abortion as I have had such difficulty talking to my boyfriend. We have a communication barrier as he does not speak much English and now I only wish I could have had a translator to help me explain everything to him. He understood a little but I have so much I want to tell him and having nobody to talk to it is so very difficult to cope with, I am in tears most of the day, either at home or at work. I love my boyfriend so much and there isn't a day goes by when I don't I wish I could talk to him properly. He was very upset and so was I but I had to do what I felt best at the time.
His parents would never have accepted me into their family. He would have had to make a choice between his family and me and he would not defy his parents, so that would have left me alone with a child and eventually he would be going back to India. I feel lost and upset because I can't talk to him as I want to. Some days I think if I could talk to him it would be easier for both of us, so much needs to be said. I hope things get better with time.

Editor's Comment

It must be very frustrating to be struggling with a language barrier, and particularly difficult when you are trying to communicate thoughts and feelings rather than just facts. I wonder if there is anyone that could find to help you with this communication? It may also help you to talk to a counsellor independently so that you can process some of the difficulties you are feeling. A pregnancy centre in your area may also know of translators available. You can call the national helpline, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.
This story was sent in on 18/10/2013 and it's been viewed 1,568 times.

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