I was raped at 16 and ended up pregnant.

Three years ago. I was raped for a month straight and was too afraid to tell my mom what was going on. 6 weeks after the act; I was not getting my period and my mom made me take a pregnancy test and it was positive. I was very scared and nervous. I was a virgin when the act happened and my mom immediately arranged an abortion for me.
At 16, you don't really think that things like that would happen to you.
After the abortion, I was very depressed and did not feel comfortable in my own skin. One of my family members told my friends at school about my abortion and I was called a baby killer for my last two years of high school. I got dirty looks and I got harassment phone calls from people telling me that I am a baby killer and that I should kill myself. It was very hard not to listen to the harsh words but I somehow managed to graduate with a smile on my face, walking down the stage in my cap and gown; walking out with my high school diploma. 3 years had past. I met someone in college. I thought we were in love and we got engaged and started trying for a baby. I ended up leaving him because I found out that his ex was pregnant. 2 months later I found out that we were pregnant. He made a promise that we were gonna have a family and be together. After his ex gave birth, he ignored me and we started to fight more and more. I contemplated having another abortion and he wasn't too happy about it. He called me a baby killer but I felt like I had no choice because he was not coming to the doctor appointments and was still ignoring me.
My mom was very upset with him and told me that she will be here to support any decision I make. Being over 18, my mom can't make the decision for me or make the calls for me. So I made an appointment and went through with the abortion. I didn't want my baby going through life without a father like I did. I was doing an act of unselfishness.
Eventually he came back into my life and he now has full custody of his little girl. She is a beautiful baby and he used her as a tool to get me back as his fiance. He made false promises of being a family again. I was very upset and didn't feel comfortable in my own skin again. When I told him I didn't want him, he went on my facebook and put that I killed his child. It was very embarrassing and I had a nervous breakdown. Afraid of getting those harassing phone calls again just like high school.

I finally got him out of my life and I am very relieved that I made my decision because he was a mentally abusive man that didn't deserve me. I now know that I will make sure that I am already married, so I don't have to worry about my future children being fatherless. I now work in the medical field and have a wonderful man in my life who supports me and loves me for who I am. I know abortion's are a very touchy subject and a lot of people don't understand what it means to be a "responsible adult" or a "good parent". Parenthood is a very big responsibility and I give a lot of respect for women having abortions because it is emotionally stressful. There is no shame in saying that you are not ready. People only say awful things because they are afraid of what they don't know. Don't look at the picket fences. Ignore protesters. No one is a baby killer and no one deserves to be judged so harshly. Accidents happen. Nothing is 100% against pregnancy. All I can say is be careful. Talk to your partner. Make sure that you are protected! "It takes a strong women to raise a child by herself but it takes a stronger woman to say she isn't ready."

Editor's Comment

You have been through a lot of trauma in your life with the rape, abortions, and abusive relationship. You certainly did not deserve to be judged for your actions, and people assume that they can make judgements when they don't know all the facts of a situation. I am glad you have now found a loving, supportive relationship, and I hope this will be part of your healing process.for post abortion support.
This story was sent in on 07/02/2014 and it's been viewed 158 times.

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