Having a termination did not ruin my life.
By anonymous on 12/02/2014I had a surgical abortion when I was 17. It was quite late - 15 weeks - because initially I pretended to myself that it couldn't possibly be true and then, when I did eventually go to my GP, the hospital made a mistake with the referral, which added a couple of extra weeks.
The actual process was difficult, as it meant an overnight stay and a drip/cervical catheter leading to labour. It was a long time ago, and I've read since that I should have been offered sedatives, but I wasn't, so I was quite frightened and felt very alone. Not all the nurses were kind (or even civil), but one, a student nurse, was wonderful and she talked to me about a play she had read at school (I told her I wanted to study English Literature). I have always remembered her - I imagine she went on to be an amazing nurse.
That was 30 years ago. I haven't regretted my decision ever. I have never struggled with it, and although I have thought about it sometimes, that has been more to do with the process, particularly what I understand now to be deliberate cruelty, designed to teach me a lesson and make me think twice about "doing it again". It was completely the right thing for me to do.
I have chosen not to have children - that's a healthy choice and right for me. I don't know what I would have done if I got pregnant again, every situation is different, I just know that having a termination did not ruin my life, it did not destroy my mental health, it did not fill me with guilt or haunt me. I did the right thing for me in the situation I found myself in.
I'm actually rather proud of my 17 year old self. I think she did just fine.