It was the most painful experience, I thought I would die
I almost kept the child but I lost the war when I was 2 months along and my mum almost found out, that would have meant no more schooling for me and getting married to the father.
It was the hardest choice to make.
After the abortion process which took less than 15 minutes, I felt weak, and I wasn't given any pain killers or drugs before the process. The nurse asked me to spread my legs open and tied to different angle, I watched her put the instrument in and out of me. It was the most painful experience, I thought I would die and I screamed in pain and cried loudly, with the nurses talking to me rudely to shut up and that younger girls do it and they don't shout.
I felt empty like something special had left me, I was already getting used to the feel of my child swelling inside of me. I cried bitterly, I had no one to comfort me or advise me what to do. I had to read online to know that my leaking breasts are normal and I should wear a tight fitting bra for hold them in place and reduce leakage.
It is three years now but I can't forget my child I didn't give a chance, it hurts that I didn't know if it was a girl or a boy. I see my child in other little children, and I always count the years thinking about what age my child should have been. I always wondered what would have happened if I had the child. I love my baby so much and can never forget. I pray for forgiveness and that the child would forgive me and understand my situation.
This is the first time I have put my expression out and it feels wonderful to be able to reach out to other people like me. I wonder if I will ever forget this experience, it is not my wish for anyone to go through this. ABORTION SOLVES THE ISSUES TEMPORARY BUT THE EFFECT STAY MUCH LONGER THAN WE EXPECT.