I got pregnant unexpectedlyBy anonymous on 26/05/2014
I am 19 turning 20 in a few months, and he's 21. I got pregnant unexpectedly. I went to the hospital that night with my boyfriend. I was having cramps and missed my period for almost 2 months. Pregnancy never crossed my mind. I was taking my pill daily, almost always on time. I found out I was pregnant that night. I was shocked. I just broke down. How can I be pregnant?? I'm 19, in college. I work at Dairy Queen. I live in my boyfriend's parents' basement. I cannot support a child?? I came out of the doctor office and told the news to my boyfriend. He right away looked at me and said I can't be a dad now. I'm too young. We decided to give ourselves a few days to make a decision.
After a day or two he came up with a way out. I agreed at the time. I made the appointment. Closer to the day I began to notice I was growing. I couldn't help having big smile when I saw my belly in the mirror. I made that. That's me in there. I couldn't do it. I began to download pregnancy apps on my phone to chart my baby's growth. I had names; "Shileigh or Laksin". I wanted this...
Soon enough I remembered our said plan. I couldn't do it. April 5th came and off to the city we went. I cried the whole way. I went in there scared and hating myself. Why am I doing this?? I'm a killer. I'm a child killer. After the procedure I just sat outside the building and cried. I couldn't believe I killed my baby. I wanted to fix it. I want to go back.
I wish I had never done it. I regret it. I still do. I cannot move on from it. Every night I lie there thinking about my baby. How round would I be? I still rub my tummy like I am pregnant. I want a baby I want make things better. Every night I cry. I hate myself everyday because this. I am still with my baby's dad. He supports me for it and helps me. But yet, I still feel angry at him for making me think this was the right choice. Why can't I move on??