I am 21 years old and I found out that I was pregnant

By anonymous on 15/05/2014
I am 21 years old and I found out that I was pregnant on the 30th April after doing 2 home tests. I had convinced myself that I was pregnant after feeling sick and bloated, even after not eating very much. I had told nobody about my fears purely out of embarrassment over my situation. I had the contraceptive coil in place, and as far as I was concerned I had made the choice not to have children by taking contraception so the decision to abort the pregnancy was not difficult, it was only through my own absentmindedness that the coil was no longer effective. I had lost track of when the coil had been put in and I had forgotten to check that it was still in place, and my only explanation was that it must have come out during my last period which had been quite heavy. I was warned that this could happen during the first few months but I have been writing my dissertation and my final assessments for university and this was the last thing on my mind. I plucked up the courage to confide in a close friend the next day, and she drove me to the GUM clinic in our city (Carlisle, UK) to have a test done there and to discuss my options. All of the staff were wonderfully supportive, and at no point did I feel that I was being judged in any way. The woman that took my details and did the test was lovely and she was very sympathetic to my situation. She referred me to the Cumberland Infirmary for a medical abortion and gave me the date of the 9th May for my first appointment. After I knew that I had a date set, most of my worries were calmed but I still felt too embarrassed to tell my partner. I thought that I could hide it from him and do the entire procedure without him knowing, even though we live together, but after reading many of the stories on this site where most people felt that they were helped through their experience by their loved ones I knew I should tell him. My sickness was so severe that I hardly ate anything, it was considered a good day if I was only sick twice, and my mood dropped because of this. I couldn't face being intimate with my partner due to feeling so uncomfortable, and my own feelings of shame that I had let this happen when it could have been prevented by checking my coil. I had only told one other friend about my pregnancy by the time of my first appointment, as after we had been at uni doing a presentation for our last assessment we decided to go for a coffee in town and I was sick in home-ware section of a department store! I told her that I was pregnant, because she thought I was really ill, and she was so shocked, as I have always been determined that I would not have children until I had a settled home life and good career prospects. I told her about my appointment, and that I was a bit worried, and she offered to come with me if my partner couldn't. I could tell that she was a bit concerned that I hadn't told him but said that she would come with me for both appointments if I decided not to. The first appointment was fine, but when I had the ultrasound to confirm how far along I was (9 weeks, 1 day) the doctor told me that it would have been a twin pregnancy. That really shocked me, but my friend was there to hold my hand. Between my two appointments I had no pain or bleeding, just an increased amount of sickness. I told my partner in the 2 days between appointments after he said he was concerned that I had been feeling unwell and acting strangely. I told him and just broke down in tears, I said I was sorry I hadn't told him and that I was embarrassed because I thought it was all my fault. He was absolutely amazing with the whole situation, and never once made me feel like I should be ashamed. He came with me for the second appointment when the abortion was completed. The Cumberland Infirmary was really pleasant, all of the doctors and nurses I met were very nice and welcoming. I have to say a special thank you to the one doctor I saw throughout the night (I can't remember her name) and nurse Jenny, who were so patient and and kind even though they were really busy that night. After the first tablets were administered I felt pain after about 20 mins, which just increased steadily for about 2 hours before I even started to bleed at all. After I first bled, I called a nurse to collect the cardboard pan that everything goes into so she could take it away. I only passed clots and blood, and after the third dose of the tablets (administered every 3 hours) I was comforted by different nurses every time saying it shouldn't be long now. I'm sorry to say that it was, and I know that this isn't usually the case and that most women wont have to but by 11pm the nurse told me I had to stay in over night because I wan't passing anything. By this point I had been in the ward for 9 hours already, but as I doubted I would be sleeping until it was over I wasn't too concerned. It was around that time that my pain was getting quite severe, but I had already had codeine and didn't think I was allowed to have more yet, which was very silly of me. A word of advice to anyone who is going to have a medical abortion, if you feel pain even after painkillers or you feel sick, dizzy or faint please let a nurse know! I didn't want to make a fuss, or have a nurse with me in the loo as I was feeling faint and worried about my modesty, but it was far less dignified having 3 nurses wiping me down and pulling my pants up after I bled and was sick on myself and fainted. The pain at this point was so severe, and my bleeding had been so heavy for about 10 hours that they took my obs and saw my blood pressure was very low and my pulse very fast. They were afraid of hypovolemic shock or that some product was stuck at my cervix so I had a speculum exam and they removed some product. I then had some anti-sickness medicine injected into me, and IV set up for fluids and an injection of morphine in my leg. My partner was almost in tears through this, he was really worried about me and felt he couldn't do anything to help. I'm glad he won't read this, and he is embarrassed about it now, but after the nurses and doctor left he stroked my hair and sang 'soft kitty' to me (shout out to big bang theory fans!) After the morphine kicked in, and I had stopped worrying about the needle in my hand moving, I slept for about an hour. I had to call a nurse with a commode when I needed to pass something from then on, which was not embarrassing as I had been afraid of, but just nice knowing that they were the best people to have around me, as I fainted or was very dizzy getting out of bed or sitting up. The pain was still severe after about 2 hours after the morphine so a nurse brought me some gas and air which helped me sleep for another hour or so. In the morning there was still nothing passed apart from clots and blood, so I had an ultrasound to confirm that nothing had been missed, which revealed that it was sitting on top of my cervix but my cervix wasn't opening. As I had had the maximum amount of the medication to complete the abortion (5 doses) they couldn't give me any more of the medication and had to try and remove the product themselves. They did another speculum exam to confirm this, and a female doctor tried to extract the product but she couldn't do it. Another consultant (male) was called in to try, and he got the product out, but he was not as gentle as the woman had been. I'm not sure if this was because a little bit more force was needed to get the product out, or if because he was a man he didn't know how painful and uncomfortable a speculum can be! It was bearable pain though, as I still had heavy drugs in my system, but I was bleeding heavily still and felt very faint for an hour or 2 after this procedure. As the product had been removed, I was told I could go home after I had had the anti-D injection and some IV antibiotics and felt less faint. Once my obs showed my blood pressure and heart rate was back to normal, I had the injections and just had to wait about half an hour for a doctor to come and discharge me. I left the ward at around half past 6 in the evening. In total I was in the ward for 27 and a half hours, which is highly unusual for a medical abortion I have been told, and the main reason for this was because my blood pressure dropped so low and my heart rate was so high and the maximum amount of doses of the medication had not completed the process. I was just unlucky in my pain level, as most women will not feel the amount of pain that I did, so don't be alarmed by my story! It has been a day since I was discharged and the pain in my abdomen is bearable with heat pads, it feels like some bruising internally but it isn't as bad as it was, and going to the loo hurts (it feels like my bladder is very full and painful even when it isn't full at all) but that's probably from the poking and prodding that the doctors had to do during the procedure. I don't feel as dizzy getting up and walking as I did, and I think I will be okay in a day or two. The bleeding is getting lighter already, and I have not soaked through a pad since being at home.

Editor's Comment

It is unusual to become pregnant if you have a coil in place, but as you say it can occasionally come out with a heavy period in the first few months after it is inserted. I hope that you make a good recovery from the medical termination, but please contact CareConfidential if you need some more support. for post abortion support.

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