Medical abortion at 14 weeks - not as bad as expected

I have just undergone medical termination due to fetal abnormality and although it's not easy I chose to share my story because before this happened I was really distressed and really terrified and I am writing this story in a hope that it will help others like me to be less anxious.
We were devastated by this news as it was our first pregnancy. The condition was fatal and I needed to terminate. I was terrified. Having read about people's experiences on medical abortions I was so anxious I couldn't sleep for three nights, I couldn't stop crying for 4 days, I couldn't eat and nearly had a full blown panic attack several times. On day 4 I went to GP explained the situation and she prescribed a good anti-anxiety medication which really takes the edge off - I wish I did this earlier - I couldn't cope and the meds really did ease my anxiety a lot!
Once I was in the hospital, although really awful on many levels, the experience was not as painful and awful as I imagined. I am very intolerant to pain - and this was another reason I was terrified of the process. My advice is - just don't be shy to ask for good pain relief! It's already mental torment and no woman deserves to add more to this pain. The staff were very nice and compassionate and did everything they could to help.
The procedure was more straightforward and not as horrible as I've been picturing in my head: I was admitted at noon. Got the first set of meds 1,5 hour later - four tablets vaginally - nothing happened for about 1,5 hours and then cramps started and got worse. Got pain relief - codeine - it didn't really help that much so in about an hour I asked for more. Got morphine which really took the edge off. I know gas and air helps as well. 3 hours after the first set of meds I got 2 more tablets orally - cramps worsened but weren't too bad due to morphine. In about 30 min the pain subsided so I thought that I would have to be there for ages. However, an hour later waters broke and everything else happened really quickly.
With pain relief I could still feel the contractions whilst I was passing the tissue but it was not intolerable or severe - and I am really sensitive to pain. I was lucky and my body passed everything in 30 min. I didn't want to look so the nurses took everything away really quickly. I didn't have to have another set of tablets. But they did offer another shot of morphine which I refused because to be honest as soon as you pass everything the pain and discomfort disappear almost immediately. I was discharged in the morning after the scan.
I hope sharing my experience will help those who are really anxious - I certainly was. It is a horrible experience to have to go through on many levels, but physically, although not pleasant it is not intolerable. I really wanted to have surgical termination but I am glad I didn't. I had my partner with me all day - it really helps - I don't think I could have gone through this alone so do take someone with you if you can. Don't go it alone.

Editor's Comment

It is very brave to share such a sad and painful experience. Termination for fetal abnormality is always very sad and difficult to come to terms with. I hope that you are recovering and that this period of grieving will draw you close together as you help each other through it.
This story was sent in on 16/08/2014 and it's been viewed 564 times.

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