Well it's 4.30am, the early morning after my medical abortion and I found myself looking for such a web site like this.
I want to write this piece for other women who are 1: feeling alone if they too have had a bad experience like mine and 2: trying to make a decision on whether to have a medical abortion or a surgical one.
I had made a choice of the medical abortion as I wanted to feel in control of the huge choice I had just made. The clinic I went to were very supportive the whole way and gave me and my partner what I now feel was a false sense of security. It was explained to me that the pain I would feel could be compared to a bad period pain and would last around four to six hours. In that time frame, there would be a peak of pain and then it would get better. It took about two hours after internally having the second drug administered for the period pains to start, but sadly that is as far as the explanation that was given to me on how I would feel would be correct.
The pain got so bad I was in floods of tears and my poor partner could do or say nothing right, but thank God he was there! Excuse the next explanation being so graphic but I feel people need to know how it really is. I found myself more and more comfortable and sitting on the toilet was all I could do, as the feeling of wanting to push came over me very quickly. The contractions got stronger and stronger to the point were I went a little delirious. I began to lose all feelings in my hands. They cramped up and I began to panic. This feeling then went to my feet and legs which left me slumped over and disorientated. All this whilst trying to cope with what seemed to me like full contractions. My breathing became irregular and my temperature went through the roof. I was seconds from passing out until my partner stripped me off and placed cold flannels on me. It was touch and go if an ambulance was needed for me as I was in such distress.
This horrible experience lasted for just under two hours, but seemed like a life time. Both my partner and I were never prepared for this and it has affected us both in different ways. It's not over for us yet as I’m still passing a lot of blood and large clots, but thankfully the worst is over for me. I feel lied to in a way. If I was given the whole truth I could have made a much more informed decision. No communication was given to my partner on what to expect so he could support me properly. He has been my rock but not everyone has this, which saddens me.
I didn't write this to scare people but to share my personal experience and tell the truth on how the medical abortion can affect some women. I'm sure that not everyone will be affected the way I was but I’m also sure that I’m not the only one out there who has suffered this way. And for those I hope that this will make you feel you’re not alone. If I had to go through this again (which I never will!!!), I would go with the surgical option. Never again do I wish to feel like I did less than 24 hours ago.
Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing your experience with us...I’m sure your story will help others to assess for themselves how they feel about this option. It’s such a short time after your abortion, and it seems that your experience of this procedure is preoccupying you – understandably! I hope that writing your story is beginning to help you process your response to it. If you need to talk through your experience some more, you can visit your nearest centre, ring the helpline or use Online Advisor. An advisor would be available to listen and give you time to work through your response. At some point, you may or may not sense other feelings surfacing, related more to the meaning of your experience than the procedure itself. If they do, we can help you with that too. Thanks for being so candid and honest in your description and comments.