I was very upset to find out I was expecting my 3rd child.

I was very upset to find out I was expecting my 3rd child. I was heartbroken, I knew I wasn't ready for a 3rd child. so I knew what I had to do (I was using contraception). In my opinion I found it harder to deal with as I had been careful and you don't normally expect it to happen. So after days of thinking and careful consideration I called my local family planning clinic, who were very nice and supportive. I opted for the surgical abortion awake. As I already had two small children at home I needed to be ok for them. Due to my weight this is the only option I could go for without having to travel 40 miles. The days dragged, I sat there on google trying to read other girls stories. Most of which were as positive as they could of been about the procedure. I have a very low pain threshold and automatically thought this is going to hurt. The day of my abortion arrived, I was very sad, anxious, nervous and fairly calm all at the same time. I was called through to a side room where she explained the procedure and what would happen. At this point I had worked myself up so much about the pain that I nearly walked out. If it wasn't for the amazing staff at bpas I would of been hysterical. I went into a little cubicle and waited to be called. Soon it was my turn. I lay on the bed and had an examination which was fine, then the speculum was inserted, also fine no pain. The part when they numb your cervix is quite painful I can only describe it as the same when you have an injection in your gum. At this point though they ask you to cough and if you do, you can barely feel it. Soon after this is done then its pretty much all over with. They say it can be 10 mins but in my case it was less than 2 mins from start to finish. I wanted to share my story because I had worked myself up, making it worse for myself when it honestly wasn't that bad. One thing I will say is make sure you are 1000000% sure as I have done nothing but regret my abortion since, although I felt 98% sure at the time, if there is an ounce of doubt, please stop and think. You can't take it back once its gone.

Editor's Comment

Your procedure sounded straightforward but the emotional and psychological pain can be hard to deal with afterwards. I think it is harder when you already have children and when the pregnancy is conceived in a loving relationship.
If you are still finding it hard to come to terms with please contact Careconfidential for post abortion support. It can help to talk to someone independent and there is a post abortion support programme that has helped many women, for post abortion support. .
This story was sent in on 22/12/2014 and it's been viewed 408 times.

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