This is my second abortion and I’m not proud of it.

This is my second abortion and I’m not proud of it. The first time I went through this I was kind of forced to do it. I mean at the end of the day it was my decision, but I felt at the time and still feel that I was forced to do it. I had no support from my ex, he basically talked me into it, like I had no opinion but get it done.
When I think back at the time I would have done anything to please him. It got to the point where he had me thinking it was my decision, until I was sitting in the recovery room by myself crying like I just lost a little part of myself.
That’s when I made decision that I needed to cut him out of my life. I was pretty low after that.

I had what I call hidden depression, where I would go out with my friend and drink and act like everything was ok. And when I was alone I didn’t want to get out of bed, didn’t want to talk to anybody. It took me awhile to get over that, so it’s crazy that I’m thinking about doing it again. But this time it’s different it’s my decision that I made. I have the support I need this time around but I'm just not ready to be a mom. I’m too young, my life is just getting started. I know that this is the right thing to do. The only thing I’m afraid of is regret afterwards.
Like maybe this is my last chance to have a kid, and I won’t get another one. I don’t want to be depressed again. Hopefully it won’t happen again.

Editor's Comment

If you had such a strong reaction to your abortion last time then I would encourage you to think through your options carefully and be sure about your decision. It is hard to live with regret so giving yourself time to talk and think it through is important, for unplanned pregnancy support.
This story was sent in on 30/01/2015 and it's been viewed 62 times.

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