I only just came across this website and cried watching Reannon's story because it is definitely a traumatic experience, abortion.
I'm only 21 and would consider myself to be sensible, but having an abortion at the beginning of this year I feel was a silly mistake. I wouldn't recommend abortion to anybody unless it was a matter of life or death to you and not the baby. I was seven weeks gone. I thought I was less and I really wanted to see the scan picture when I went to the clinic to get my first set of tablets. I felt stupid because I didn’t even know what I was looking at and now I just have flashes of the picture in my head.
The next day I took the tablets to miscarry and, within two hours of taking them, I miscarried. The clotting was horrific and the pain got worse over the next few days. I couldn't stop crying. I was so angry with myself and my partner for going through this traumatic experience. I couldn’t believe at the time, and even now, that I had actually gone through with it - me - no way!! I never thought that I’d be getting rid of a child - my first at that.
With me coming from a very large family where a child is born near enough every year, I just thought it was my turn to become a mum this year if I was pregnant - how wrong was I?? I'll never forget the look on my partner’s face when I told him and I wish I hadn’t, because he wouldn’t have known. If I was further on, I definitely wouldn’t have had an abortion, even at seven weeks the baby is forming certain things, so to imagine getting rid of it further along in the pregnancy would be absolutely traumatising.
I feel abortion isn’t talked about enough because of being seen as 'wrong' and that God will punish you, but at the end of the day everything happens for a reason and I think women should be made more aware of how painful it’s going to be physically and mentally. I would have preferred to have gone through giving birth than that. At least I would enjoy the end result.
Editor’s note: Thank you for sharing your story with us…It sounds like you had a very real instinct to pursue your pregnancy initially. It also seems as if it was possibly your partner’s response to the pregnancy that led you to have a termination, resulting in your sense of disbelief and anger. Many women have mixed feelings about their choice to have an abortion in hindsight. The full meaning may not have been properly assessed beforehand and sometimes the emotional effects can be surprising. If you feel you need some support to process your experience, then please contact your nearest centre, the helpline or Online Advisor.