I have had one abortion I did not want. I am now pregnant again.

By anonymous on 05/03/2008
I have had one abortion I did not want. I am now pregnant again. The first abortion was at the behest of my partner who essentially forced me into it. I cannot describe the sorrow and guilt I feel to this day. My entire life has been shrouded in grief for the last year.

I stayed with my partner, because in most other respects he was a man who I loved and I just couldn't bear any more loss. Even though I am only 26, I feel scared that I will not be able to have children, that if I lose my partner, with him goes my chance of having children, that I know we can make a baby together so there is no risk in falling in love with someone who might be infertile.

Last week I discovered I was pregnant again. My partner has threatened that if I continue with the pregnancy he will abduct my baby and take it out the country in order to "ruin my life like I've ruined his". If I terminate the pregnancy, we can get married and once married have as many children as I like. Everybody thinks he is bad news and I should leave him. The whole situation is breaking my heart.

I would say to anyone who is planning an abortion they wouldn't otherwise want because their partner doesn't support it: If your partner has not threatened your or your baby's life, continue with the pregnancy. You will be the one who has to bear the scars forever if you proceed with a termination. Even if your partner abandons you, it has to be better than raising a child with a father who resents you both.

Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing your story…It is really a very difficult situation for you, isn’t it? It seems you are torn between attempting to meet your personal needs through this relationship and your heart’s desire to pursue this pregnancy and not terminate. Pain is inevitable if your partner is so adamant, but careful attention needs to be given to what will be a positive pain for you and what will be a negative pain for you. You need ongoing support, not just a one-off visit, so please see someone at a centre as soon as possible.

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