I had protected sex with someone I wasn't in love with and tried to convince myself I wasn't pregnant by Frankie

I knew something was different

I am 27 years old and never expected I would be the one to get pregnant. I had a cortisone shot for a tear in my shoulder and my period had been about a week late, my moods totally off, and a minimal appetite which I all related to the stress dose of steroids.

In the back of my mind, I knew something was different this time but kept trying to convince myself it was the steroids. I had PROTECTED sex about 4 weeks earlier with someone I knew I wasn't in love with which was another reason I kept trying to convince myself that I was not pregnant.

I took a test in the bathroom at CVS

Early morning after I got off an overnight shift at the hospital I stopped at a local CVS for a pregnancy test, took it in their bathroom, and it was instantly positive.

My mind was racing, and I was the only one in the store and I began thinking the girl at the register knew I took it in the bathroom and she must know its positive by the look on my face.

I sent a “call me” text

On the drive home I sent a "call me" text to the man I slept with and got an immediate call back.

I think both of us were in shock. I immediately knew I could not go through with a pregnancy when I wasn't even in a relationship with this guy, didn't really care much about him, was trying to pay off my horrendous student loan debt, living at home still, and with the dreams I still had to live out.

I made numerous phone calls that morning and got into an ob/gyns office who, because I'm a medical professional myself, agreed to give me an Rx for misoprostol to take that day at home and text her with updates.

24 hours later I knew the misoprostol hadn't worked

Misoprostol was awful- horrendous cramps, the worst diarrhea, fever, chills, and extreme nausea were the worst of it. 24 hours after first dosing I still had no bleeding, and I knew it didn't work.

At that point, the thought of "the odds seriously haven't been in my favor since the moment this began! I was within the 3% of people that condoms didn't work for, and now I was within the 15% that the misoprostol alone didn't work for!".

My doctor booked the OR for a D&C

I immediately told my doctor I didn't think it worked and she booked me for the OR the next day for a d&c.

I had told my mother at this point who was very good about the whole thing, given that she had gone through it before my siblings and I came along so she took me to the procedure.

It was quick & pain-free but has left me feeling guilty

Is it odd that the entire time of going through this situation I did not want to be around the guy who helped me get into this? Instead, he was out with his friends and I frankly didn't give a hoot.

The procedure was quick, relatively pain-free afterwards (minimal cramping, some nausea, and little bleeding), however, I recall waking up sobbing about how guilty I felt.

I feel as if everyone knows

It's been 24 hours, and I feel like I still don't want to leave the house. I feel a sense of shame, extreme guilt, and as if everyone at work knows what I did since I had the procedure at the hospital I work at.

I almost don't want anyone to see me for a few days. I do not feel like myself and I feel like this experience will forever change me. I feel kind of alone in it, but also don't want to talk to anyone about it either.

I'd make the same decision again

I am hopeful these feelings will change as time passes. Looking back, I think I would still make the same decision as it was most fair to everyone, however, I still feel very guilty :\

Frankie sent this story in on 12/06/2015 and it's been viewed 41 times.

Read more abortion stories

Stupidly we hadn't used contraception and my period was late

Quick and easy - it seemed TOO easy…

Previous

I longed for a third child but 5 yrs later didn't want to start over

How did I end up so confused…

Next

Help & support is available

If you're struggling through a situation like that described above, or have been affected by similar issues in the past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

You can get free, sensitive & confidential help at a centre near you. Use these links for:

Got a story to tell?

Relating your story to other people can be difficult but can be very rewarding.

If you'd like to tell other readers, possibly facing the same problems you did, about your experiences please click the button to:

Tell your story →