It was very easy and quick - it seemed TOO easy
Stupidly, we hadn't been using contraception
Me and my boyfriend had been together for one year exactly when I found out I was pregnant. We hadn't been using contraception (stupidly), I noticed I was a couple of days late for my period and my boobs were very tender. I told my boyfriend I need to take a pregnancy test so he came with me to buy one as I was pretty nervous.
I got home and took the test immediately, the test showed positive.
It shouldn't be like that and we burst into tears
I didn't know how to feel and it felt like a wave of a million different emotions hit me at once. I showed my boyfriend the test and we both burst into tears, it shouldn't have been like that. We should have been jumping for joy, that's when we both knew we weren't ready.
I took a second test that showed positive within seconds.
They referred me to my GP
We decided we needed to see someone straight away. We went to the closest pharmacy and asked for the morning after pill, which was obviously not needed as I was already pregnant. They then referred me to my GP.
The doctor I saw was unhelpful
I arrived at the doctors and was seen straight away, in all honesty, the doctor I saw was unhelpful and made me feel awful about my choice to get an abortion.
We got an appointment at a Family Planning Centre
A couple of days later, my boyfriend booked an appointment at the nearest family planning centre to talk to someone about our options.
I was so nervous in the waiting room, but I had to keep it together. A lady saw us to confirm my pregnancy and also asked me to do a chlamydia test. She then booked me in for an appointment at the hospital for the next day.
At hospital, the nurse was reassuring
I went to the hospital with my boyfriend. In there I had to speak to a nurse, she took my details (height, weight etc.) and a blood sample, she reassured me that it is the worst thing that would happen to me all day.
She wouldn't discuss the pregnancy
I had to go to have an ultrasound scan to see how far along the pregnancy I was. It took a long time to find it and the screen was tilted away from me. After a few minutes of being in there, she told me she wasn't allowed to discuss the pregnancy with me.
I saw a consultant...
I went back over to see a consultant back at the abortion clinic who told me I was less than 6 weeks, and most likely less than 4 weeks.
Then saw a counsellor...
I then saw a counsellor, this was routine and you could see her for as long as you needed and come back if you needed to. I told her I'm not a huge supporter of abortion but I am just not ready to have a baby.
Then saw a Termination of Pregnancy specialist and took the first pill
I was then directed to see the TOP (termination of pregnancy) specialist. She was very serious and not very comforting.
I took the first pill which stops the pregnancy, by then I knew there was absolutely no going back.
She explained to me that the next time I saw her I would have to have 4 pills in my vagina, and one in my bottom which I was unaware of and it scared me.
Then the next day took the rest of the pills
The next day was the big day, I was incredibly nervous. I was seen straight away. I was put at ease as she told me that I had to do it myself. She told me how to do it and closed the curtain. It was very easy and quick (it seemed TOO easy).
I went home as I wanted to be comfortable.
Very bad stomach cramps
Around 3-4 hours later I started to get very bad stomach cramps that got worse. I took paracetamol as directed and fell asleep with my boyfriend. I woke up and went to the toilet, the bleeding started to begin.
I felt the pregnancy sac
I felt the pregnancy sac come out (sorry if this is TMI). I couldn't bear to look, but I knew that the worst of it was over. I carried on bleeding for a day or two like a normal period and got slight stomach cramps every now and again.
I do want children but need to find myself first
Everything happened quickly and it feels like a blur to me. I was not ready to become a parent. Sure, I could ‘make it work’ but that is not nearly enough. I really do want children in the future, but first, as selfish as it sounds, I need to find myself first. It was the right thing at the wrong time.