I was 17 and in foster care when I found out I was pregnant by Maniajeb

I was 17 and in foster care when I found out I was pregnant. At first, I was happy about it, I was excited. This is the gods' honest truth of how I felt, it was all I had ever wanted, to have a baby and be a mommy, as I studied childcare for 2 years before that and that's all I wanted to do.

So, when I found out I was pregnant, I was honestly so happy but so scared at the same time. My care workers told me that if I didn't abort the baby they would do an initial assessment to see if I was suitable enough to look after a baby.

After 4 weeks of thinking about it I went ahead with it, but in those 4 weeks, I didn't want to do it. My care staff never stopped telling me I was going to have my baby taken off me. And the father was abusive so I ended it with him as when it wasn't working he got abusive and hit me. I didn't want to bring a baby up with someone like that.

So I went along with the abortion.

I was at the hospital and had everything done ready for the termination. I paced around the room as they told me to, told me something about gravity gets the baby out.

I felt something in my pad and as I went to check what it was I looked down and I was sickened, my baby, only 9 weeks was lying there dead, it had arms legs and a head. Looking down on that baby made me want to cry, all along I did not want to go ahead with it.

I felt part relieved afterwards as I'm such a young age, but about 3 months down the line I started to get depressed and started to think about my baby more and more.

That was when I was 17 and I'm now 18, 19 in a few weeks and I still regret it to this day. If there was any way I could go back and change that day and not go along with it I honestly would.

The positive thing though is that I had the support of my friends and I'm now in a happy relationship and I'm telling you now if I ever end up pregnant again, I WON'T be getting rid, it's too painful.

Think first trust me x

Maniajeb sent this story in on 22/06/2015

Read more abortion stories

Read this if you're considering medical abortion and are scared

Abortion isn't easy but it doesn't have to be hard either…

Previous

I prayed daily after my miscarriage and fell pregnant a third time

I kept asking myself why until it suddenly hit me…

Next

Help & support is available

If you're struggling through a situation like that described above, or have been affected by similar issues in the past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

You can get free, sensitive & confidential help at a centre near you. Use these links for:

Got a story to tell?

Relating your story to other people can be difficult but can be very rewarding.

If you'd like to tell other readers, possibly facing the same problems you did, about your experiences please click the button to:

Tell your story →