I was 17 and in foster care when I found out I was pregnant
I was 17 and in foster care when I found out I was pregnant. At first, I was happy about it, I was excited. This is the gods' honest truth of how I felt, it was all I had ever wanted, to have a baby and be a mommy, as I studied childcare for 2 years before that and that's all I wanted to do.
So, when I found out I was pregnant, I was honestly so happy but so scared at the same time. My care workers told me that if I didn't abort the baby they would do an initial assessment to see if I was suitable enough to look after a baby.
After 4 weeks of thinking about it I went ahead with it, but in those 4 weeks, I didn't want to do it. My care staff never stopped telling me I was going to have my baby taken off me. And the father was abusive so I ended it with him as when it wasn't working he got abusive and hit me. I didn't want to bring a baby up with someone like that.
So I went along with the abortion.
I was at the hospital and had everything done ready for the termination. I paced around the room as they told me to, told me something about gravity gets the baby out.
I felt something in my pad and as I went to check what it was I looked down and I was sickened, my baby, only 9 weeks was lying there dead, it had arms legs and a head. Looking down on that baby made me want to cry, all along I did not want to go ahead with it.
I felt part relieved afterwards as I'm such a young age, but about 3 months down the line I started to get depressed and started to think about my baby more and more.
That was when I was 17 and I'm now 18, 19 in a few weeks and I still regret it to this day. If there was any way I could go back and change that day and not go along with it I honestly would.
The positive thing though is that I had the support of my friends and I'm now in a happy relationship and I'm telling you now if I ever end up pregnant again, I WON'T be getting rid, it's too painful.
Think first trust me x
Maniajeb sent this story in on 22/06/2015