I feel like I don't want to deal with nausea, vomiting, and heartburn

I am 42 years old with four children and I take care of my niece. I found out I was pregnant this past Saturday. I suspected pregnancy because I was feeling icky and nauseous. My husband brought home a test and immediately the test read positive.

I've been anxious, depressed, and worried ever since. I think I'm too old, too fat, and it's just too many risks to think about.

I'm considering leaving my husband as well because he is verbally and emotionally abusive when he drinks which is often.

I have a scheduled abortion this coming Saturday. I have so many mixed emotions and I am pleading for the forgiveness and mercy of God not to be punished. I'm so lost. I feel like I don't want to deal with nausea, vomiting, and heartburn. This is too much to think about.