He doesn't want this baby but an abortion would destroy me

My ex and I slept together several times after we broke up. We broke up because after 10 years I cheated on him and confessed. Then he cheated and confessed to having loved someone else during our relationship. Then he broke up with me because he could not forgive me (I do not blame him I hate myself for what I did).

However, I went to therapy, figured out why I allowed myself to cheat, made a lot of behavioural changes and instilled strong social boundaries. I was still very much in love with him so when he would want to have sex I would say yes. My chances of pregnancy were slim to none due to health issues and he never used a contraceptive.

I found out I was pregnant 3 days ago. I am 9 weeks 4 days. He immediately asked for an abortion. He doesn't want a child from a woman he doesn't want to be with and feels it will ruin both our lives.

Financially we are both becoming stable and were looking for separate apartments finally living apart in September or October.

I want this baby but he doesn't and now I feel like I ruined his life once... I have no right to ruin it again but I know an abortion would destroy me.

This story was sent in on 25/06/2015

Editor's comment

If you feel this strongly about abortion and want to keep the baby, then that would seem to be the best option for you. In the end, this is your life and you will have to live longterm with the decision that you make. Although your ex may have to take some financial responsibility for his child, he can choose how involved he is with you both. I feel that you are taking a lot of responsibility in saying 'I have no right to ruin his life', because you both chose to sleep together and you both chose not to use contraception, so he has chosen to take these risks. Free help and advice about unplanned pregnancy is available.

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