I had an abortion two years ago on the 10th August 2006. I think about it every day.
I’m 110% it would have been a wee girl and I decided she was called Jessica. She’d have been one on the 20th March 2007. I know it sounds daft but I still feel as if she’s about and that I can talk to her. I think that’s my way of coping. Yeah, it was and still is hard but I feel as if I’m coping a lot better than I was. You have good and bad days.
I still can’t be about anyone that’s pregnant or has had a kid about the same age and every time someone talks about abortion, I just want to start crying. I’m on tablets to try and help me get through it and to try to help me sleep.
If you are thinking of an abortion my advice is think about it a lot as it’s a big choice. It didn’t actually hit me till I had done it, then it’s too late. Do what you feel is right in your heart not what anyone else wants. Take care. J xxx
Editor’s note: Thank you for sharing your story with us…It’s two years for you now, isn’t it? You’ve been through the anniversary of the due date twice and the anniversary of the abortion itself once. You are clearly still suffering, being unable to be near babies, reacting to every mention of abortion, thinking of your baby girl every day and having to take medication to help you sleep. It sounds as if you are stuck in grief, grief that you don’t really know what to do with, finding comfort – understandably - from imagining your baby is with you.
Now it’s time to receive the support you need to come through this in a better way. It’s time to work through your grief, any anger, or guilt and shame that you may have, accept responsibility for your part in it all and find forgiveness, so that you can be the person you’re really meant to be. It’s time to find healing. The memory of your baby will be honoured. Please have courage, call your nearest centre, ring the helpline or use Online Advisor to talk to an experienced advisor and receive the support you need for recovery. We’ll be thinking of you.