We couldn't afford two babies let alone one but hearing I was pregnant with twins made it worse

I had a medical abortion 2 weeks ago. I still feel strange about it all and am not sure I have done the right thing. I am 35, married and have two healthy children 4 & 7. This pregnancy was not planned and was a total shock. My husband was adamant he did not want another baby as financially we cannot afford it plus we have a 2-bedroom house.

We went to the appointment together. After the scan (which I did not want to see) I was told I was pregnant with twins. I burst into tears, they called my husband in & said as this was an extra shock to deal with we needed a few hours to talk before they could give me the first tablet.

We knew there was no way we could afford 2 babies let alone one but hearing I was pregnant with twins made it worse, I felt worse. We went ahead, and I had the tablets.

The 1st tablet was fine, and the next day I bled but no pain.

The 2nd appointment 2 days later was the tough one. The 4 tablets are put in your mouth, 2 either side between your cheek and gums and you have to wait for them to dissolve.

After 3 hours the cramps started and got extremely bad. Having had 2 babies, I would say it's close to the final stages of labour; the severe pain lasted about 2 hours. During this time lots of blood & clots were being passed.

Had I known how painful it was going to be I may have chosen the other option of having it removed.

It never felt right and it still doesn't even though I know my life and my sons' lives would have changed dramatically. I will never know if we would have coped or not and that's something I have to live with.