He kept yelling at me to sit still and was not the least bit comforting

I am currently 22 years old and I just found out I was pregnant for the second time. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I am in school and the first time I found out I was pregnant I immediately knew that this wasn't something we could handle right now.

The decision and the fact that I was pregnant just sent me into a state of shock. I was terrified. I decided to have an abortion.

I went to the morgen taller clinic in Toronto. My experience was awful. The doctor who did the procedure was awful. I am a squeamish person, and I was very uncomfortable and it was very difficult for them to perform the procedure, he kept yelling at me to sit still and was not the least bit comforting.

This experience has left me absolutely terrified of abortions. And as I just found out I am pregnant 3 days ago. I am not sure what to do, I am not ready for a child but I don't know if I can go through an abortion again.

I have been looking online and have found that you can be put to sleep if you have an abortion procedure in a hospital. I think this would be much easier for both me and the doctor because I am not able to sit there comfortable and let them do it properly.

The first time I also found it uncomfortably painful, which is weird because everything I read online seemed nothing like my life experience.

Right now I am 2 and a half weeks pregnant and I know I cannot care for a child. I am planning to have the hospital procedure and I really really hope that it goes better.

I also just want to point out, I find this very difficult emotionally and can't believe I let this happen again. I haven't talked about my experience or how I am feeling about this so I thought it would help to write it down 

This story was sent in on 01/09/2015

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