I shared the shock of one of the other women writing that she'd had three abortions.

I shared the shock of one of the other women writing that she'd had three abortions. So have I and I've never told anyone that there have been three. The first one happened in my second year at university with a man I knew was no good. Ever since, I've also felt empty with a strange sense of longing. I've been battling depression and anxiety ever since and part of me thinks that the other two times I've gotten pregnant (2006 and just last month) deep down I wanted a baby. In fact, I find myself longing for one now but don't feel it's practical. It's something I never want to go through again and really I don't know how I've made it through three times. Editor’s note: Thank you for sharing this with us…it’s been quite a step for you to acknowledge your experiences in this way, hasn’t it? I have a sense that you have tried to cope by submerging your feelings as best you can, but your heart feelings have been a strong undercurrent, surfacing as a longing for another baby, and as anxiety and depression. All this tells me you have not been able to come to terms with what has happened. Deep down, a part of you is in pain over these losses. And that’s OK. Just because you made the choice doesn’t mean to say that you don’t have the right to grieve. Maybe it’s time for you to acknowledge the loss and the pain you feel. I want to invite you to contact your nearest centre and make an appointment to see someone. You’ll be able to tell your story, be listened to with kindness and have the opportunity to begin the journey of recovery. We’ll be thinking of you.
This story was sent in on 22/05/2008

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