I didn't know what to expect but it felt like giving birth - the pain was horrendous

I found out I was pregnant quite early on, and I just knew when I was opening the packet of my pregnancy test, that this was going to be a sure thing. After a week of feeling absolutely exhausted, having sore breasts and feeling bloated constantly, I decided to bite the bullet and take the test.

I and my boyfriend had only been together for just under 5 months, and in no way were we ready to bring a baby into the world. I pretty much knew what my decision was before I even took the test.

I booked my appointment at an abortion clinic for 2 weeks later. My boyfriend said he would support whatever decision I made, but half an hour before my appointment decided to drop it in there that he wanted this baby and he thought I was making a massive mistake. Talk about bad timing and sending me into an emotional whirlwind of guilt, as this still didn’t change my mind.

I decided to go ahead with the abortion [more abortion stories] and went to the appointment, as this had to boil down to what I wanted. The abortion clinic was very calming, and all nurses really talked me through each stage in detail.

My medical abortion process

I took the first tablet whilst I was there and took 4 tablets home with me to insert vaginally between 24-72 hours later.

The first tablet didn’t really give me any side effects, apart from some mild cramping the next day. After 24 hours I decided to take the other 4 tablets.

After about an hour after inserting them, I started to feel a slight pulling sensation, but no pain.

After 2 hours the cramping started. I took ibuprofen at this stage to try and prepare me for whatever was to come.

About half an hour later, the cramping was so painful and intense. It started with brief 5-10 second intervals between the cramps, but this then just started to be constant.

It felt like I was giving birth

I don’t really know what I expected, and I’ve never had a baby, but it truly felt like I was giving birth. I’ve never felt intense pain like that in my life, and it lasted for around 3 hours. I didn’t start bleeding until about half an hour after the pain started, and I didn’t actually bleed as much as I thought I would.

I found that sitting back on my knees/heels and hunching my body over the toilet and rocking slightly was the most comforting position to be in. I think it lets gravity do its job, as about 20 minutes after I started doing this I passed the tissues.

The relief after passing everything was so overwhelming. Instant relief from the pain, I was still having cramping but it decreased significantly.

I’d recommend anyone having a medical abortion to be ready with some strong pain killers (codeine or other strong ones) and a hot water bottle as soothes the pain. I didn’t get much sleep that night as my uterus was still cramping, but in the morning and throughout the next day, my bleeding was like a light period and decreased significantly.

It was horrendous but I don't regret it

Even though this was an absolutely horrendous experience that I had to go through alone, I know it was the right decision for me, and I don’t regret it for a second.

I think anyone considering this should really explore their options and not to take the decision lightly. But at the end of the day, it’s absolutely your choice, and nobody should try to influence that, you have to do what’s right for you.

I lost a baby and a boyfriend

Unfortunately, my relationship didn’t make it through this, and we broke up the next day. I lost both a baby and my boyfriend, and I still knew that this was the right decision for me, and I know that if my relationship couldn’t get through not having a baby, it definitely couldn’t get through actually having one.

If anyone has taken the time to read my story, thank you, and if you’re considering an abortion, I hope it goes as best as it can do!!

This story was sent in on 06/04/2019

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