I’m 24 and last week I did something that I wished I would never have to make the decision to do: have an abortion.

By anonymous on 13/07/2008
I’m 24 and last week I did something that I wished I would never have to make the decision to do: have an abortion. My boyfriend and I both agreed that with our current situation of a long distance relationship and the fact that we don’t have a house together and are not in a position where we could provide our baby with everything they deserve; that it would be best if we didn’t go ahead with the pregnancy.

I cry myself to sleep every night wondering why we made this decision and wishing I could turn back time. I’m back at work now and trying to concentrate on getting myself back on track and looking to the future- but in the back of my mind I’m constantly thinking, ‘what if??’ We have been arguing a lot this week as well, which has added to the pain of what we have been through together and I really hope that the love we have for each other will help us get through these difficult times and try to build a future where we are both happy.

Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing your story with us…It seems that you both made what seemed like a very practical, sensible decision – one that at least made sense in your heads because of the circumstances you were in. It’s strange, isn’t it, that the reason you chose to have an abortion was because you couldn’t give the baby what you felt it deserved. That tells me that you really attached a high value to your baby - you wanted to make sure he or she would have the best. But now you realise that the important thing wasn’t about material things after all, but about your love.

The pain in your heart – the loss, the grief, the sadness, the regret – is what is affecting you now. If possible, it would help you both to visit your nearest post-abortion support centre and talk it through with someone who understands and who can help you both talk about it more effectively. It would still help you to make contact for yourself, if your partner can’t go. Don’t just try and ignore the pain you feel – there is hope to come through this in a better way.

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