I had an abortion four weeks ago. It was the worst decision I have ever made in my entire life.

I had an abortion four weeks ago. It was the worst decision I have ever made in my entire life. I was eight weeks gone and pregnant by a married man and at the time all I could think was that I had no right to be pregnant and that I couldn’t have the baby because of the shame it would bring. I wish on reflection now that I hadn’t rushed into having the abortion and had considered the full implications of what I was doing. The shame of my affair is now long lost, replaced with despair and grief for the baby whose life I have ended. I will never get over what I have done, it is never going to be alright and I will have to carry this for the rest of my life. Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing your story with us…It sounds as if you are really suffering with the weight of responsibility for this and feel that you can never be at peace with yourself. In fact, there may be a part of you that feels you should never have that luxury again. In other words, a life sentence. But there is hope. Although you really feel the loss and grief and guilt, what you chose to do is not the unforgiveable sin. There is a way through these painful emotions. It’s not an easy path of recovery, but you are left in a place that means you can relate to your experience in a healthier way than you are now. You’ve already started that journey by writing on this website. It probably helped you, although it was scary. Telling your story is the first step to recovery. All you need to do now is pick up the phone to contact your nearest centre and ask about post-abortion support. Or you can ring the helpline, or use Online Advisor. The options are there to make it easier for you. This isn’t something you’ll forget, but you will be able to think about it differently. We’ll be thinking of you.
This story was sent in on 02/09/2008

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