When I found out I was pregnant I didn’t know what to do with myself.

When I found out I was pregnant I didn’t know what to do with myself. I had just started my dream job and I wasn’t in a relationship. In fact, I didn’t even like the guy who fathered my baby; he wasn’t the same guy he made out he was. That said, I do feel bad that I never told him he could have been a father. I made the eventual decision to have an abortion myself. I was 19 weeks gone. Finding out that little piece of information was the hardest thing I ever had to hear. I had my abortion through a company called BPAS. Their staff were amazing. I was not happy with the idea of a late medical abortion and they worked hard to get me an appointment to have a D&E procedure under general anaesthetic. I went to my appointment with a friend and to be totally truthful I realised the difference between me and the other women on at the clinic. Some were doubled up in pain or being sick - I had none of that. Others came in crying, clearly distressed; I felt more of a sense of relief. I was lucky not to experience pain or bleeding during my wait at the clinic. I was warned about bad cramping and bleeding and sickness. Thankfully I didn’t get any of this. I was put to sleep and when I woke up I actually felt different. Again I had no pain and was able to leave the clinic within an hour of completion of the procedure. It’s been just under a week since my abortion and I’ve had little to no bleeding, the only irritating thing has been the pain in my breasts that has been pretty much constant. I don’t regret my abortion; it was the right thing for me to do. It would have been totally unfair to bring a baby into the world in which its life would be anything but stable. Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing your experience with us…It sounds as if you were well looked after and the wisest decision was made for you with regard to pain relief and method of abortion. Your circumstances were very difficult and the relief you felt even before the procedure is indicative of that. Most women feel a measure of relief after an abortion because the pressure has gone, but for some the realisation of what has occurred can affect them at a later stage for a variety of reasons. Some simply revisit the reasons why they had an abortion in the light of the circumstances they find themselves in later in life. Others learn that they have to deal with emotions such as guilt and shame that they didn't realise affected them at the time. Whilst not wishing this outcome upon you, of course, it’s important to know that feelings later on can be attributed to an abortion many years before. If this ever happens to you, then please do get in touch for some support, won’t you?

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