I'm 23 and can change my mind later, right now my youngest has just left baby-stage and I'm enjoying not having a baby in the house again.

This all began with stupidity on my part. I did get the morning after pill though. Sadly it failed and I found out I was pregnant as soon as it would have been reliably traceable on a home pregnancy test. My partner was over the moon, he always wanted to try once more for a girl (We have two boys already) but to be honest with you, I'm done with babies for now. I'm 23 and can change my mind later, right now my youngest has just left baby-stage and I'm enjoying not having a baby in the house again. Not only that, my body really can't cope with being pregnant at this time and it's not fair on my existing children to receive sub-standard care from me. After many, many talks and rivers of tears,although my partner is very sad about it,he wants the best for me and the children and has supported me unconditionally throughout (so far anyway). I had my first appointment today which I gotta be honest, felt like a waste of my time. The "counselling" I was meant to get consisted of, "Here's a leaflet. I recommend Medical Termination because of your BMI. See you on Sunday." All was not lost though, I found out that this particular hospital offers a free Chlamydia test which I took. Not because I'm a get about, I've been monogamous with my partner for over 5 years...but it's always nice to know you're clean, right? I was also tested to make sure I'm not an MRSA carrier (I'm very impressed with this NHS hospital cleanliness standards), had a blood test and was sent along my way. For practical reasons I know I'm doing the right thing, however I just can't get it out of my head that I'm the biggest scum ring on the planet right now. I suppose what I want to say is thank you for uploading all your experiences, my mind is a little clearer on what to expect. I fear the unknown but I'm not as unsettled now. I guess I'll complete this story when it's all done and dusted. Thank you again, every one. I'm sorry we're all going through/have been through this. Editor's Comment: I'm glad you found the web site helpful and reading other people's experiences gave you some idea what to expect. I'm afraid the 'counselling' offered does vary and often does not give people time to explore their emotions and receive the information they need to make a considered decision. You sounded like you were trying to rationalise your decision but still battling with some inner instincts about ending the pregnancy. You can always access support from a trained advisor through the web site, either on the national helpline or through a pregnancy centre in your area.
This story was sent in on 18/10/2009 and it's been viewed 1,017 times.

Read more abortion stories

he kept saying things like "what do you want to do?" making it sound like I really had a choice. I of course did have a choice.


"Your due date is around February 1st" were the only words it took for my world to come tumbling down.


Help & support is available

If you're struggling through a situation like that described above, or are being affected by similar issues from your past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

You can get free, sensitive & confidential help at a centre near you. Use these links for:

Got a story to tell?

Relating your story to other people can be very difficult but rewarding.

If you'd like to tell other readers, possibly facing the same problems you did, about your experiences please click the button to:

Tell your story →