I didn't think it would effect my life as much as it has. There is not a day goes by that I dont think about it.

I am 24yrs old,and I had an abortion nearly 2yrs ago now. At the time I went through this I also had to go through losing my granddad the same week. I didn't think it would effect my life as much as it has. There is not a day goes by that I dont think about it. I have started seeing a lad who I have been with now for 7 months. I think the world of him. We have just moved in together and I have found out I am pregnant again. I was on the pill at the time so I'm not too sure how it happened. My boyfriend doesn't like kids and has made it clear that he is 100% sure he doesn't want this baby. I don't know what to do really because I can't afford this baby myself and I don't really want to get rid of it. I am scared what people will say and think of me like for example that I only kept the baby to trap my boyfriend, that I am being selfish etc. One thing I have not mentioned is that I got told I had stage 2- possible 3 cervical cancer they started treatment and has worked so far. I am scared I wont be able to have kids in the future please can someone give me some advice xx Editor's Comment:- You have a lot of difficult issues to face at the moment and I can understand why you feel a bit overwhelmed. You are considering abortion because you feel that your boyfriend won't support you if you keep the baby. I think you need to think carefully about how it would affect your relationship if you have an abortion. You have said that your previous abortion has had a big impact on you,and you still continually think about it. I think that if you feel pressurised into having a second abortion you are likely to resent your boyfriend and many relationships do split up following abortion. I'm glad that your cervical cancer treatment has worked, but I suppose you have to face the possibility that this could affect your ability to carry another baby. It may be a small risk and you have to decide if you can take that risk. I would really encourage you not to worry about what other people think. That is not important. You have to make the decision that is right for you, and that you can live with for the rest of your life. If you would like to talk it through please ring the helpline number 0300 4000 999.

This story was sent in on 13/11/2009

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