My daughter had an abortion several years ago when she was a teenager.It was the most traumatic time of our life.My daughter had an abortion several years ago when she was a teenager.It was the most traumatic time of our life.Despite us wanting her to keep the baby she chose to do what she wanted and had a termination. We took her into one of your centres and she spoke to one of your advisors. Time and counselling has healed the pain and we have all found some peace, forgiveness and healing. I recently found out accidentally in some medical notes that she had another abortion a few years later. I have told no-one about this. I would like to talk to my daughter about it,but feel that I can't because she has chosen not to tell me.I know how difficult it must have been for her to do this, and to be so alone in it all. I do not hold any hurt or pain about the decision, but just want to understand what happened and to tell her that I am here for her, loving her as I always have done. I think she feels that I would be angry and would not have forgiven her for having one abortion let alone two. I would love to tell her that it is not the case. I often wonder if this is something I will take to my grave. I am a christian and know that it is something that I should leave with Him. I know both these babies are safe in HIs arms and my daughter is in a better place after counselling. What advice do you have? Editor's Comment:- I am sorry you have been through this difficult time with your daughter, and glad that you received some help from a centre. It is difficult to know how to advise you because official medical records are confidential, and I feel that you should respect that confidentiality especially if you have found out through a doctor's surgery or hospital records. However, if you found out this information by accidentally coming across it at home, I think you could apologise to your daughter and admit that you had found out. Expressing your unconditional love for her would be very healing, and allow you to break the secrecy of this event.
This story was sent in on 26/11/2009