Here is My Story! I had termination in March 2005, nearly 5 years ago.
It sounds as though there are different dialogues going on in your head and your heart. Your head tells you that you made the right decision, and that you could not have had a baby at that time in your career, and with that person.
Your heart is aching for what might have been, and a decision that feels outside of the instincts and values you long for. The guilt comes from inside when you cross a value boundary that feels wrong. I think it would really help you to go through 'The Journey'post abortion support programme that would give you a chance to work out where some of these deep regrets are coming from. You could see if there is a centre near you on the web site or ring the helpline on 0300 4000 999.