I was just 17 when I found out I was pregnant

When I found out I was pregnant I was only just 17. I had only been with my boyfriend for a few weeks and the first and only option we discussed was to have a termination. I didn't even think about it before it happened. It wasn't until the day after the abortion that I realised what I had actually done. I had ignored my emotions and not realised that I actually did want the baby regardless of my situation. Ever since I have been full of regret, and feel that I can't talk about it to anyone, not even my family because I thought they'd be ashamed. Since then, three years have gone by, and my relationship with my boyfriend has finished. However I find myself wanting to have a baby, which I know isn't healthy, because I'm still not ready. I am writing this now to share my story with other people in the same situation, in the hope that I can start the healing process and deal with my feelings.

Editor's Comment

Well done for being brave enough to put down in words what you have been feeling. I too believe that it will be the start of the healing process for you. At 17 with a new relationship, pregnancy must have been a real shock, and sometimes that causes a rebound reaction before you start to think things through properly. Your longing for a baby is quite common following an abortion when you feel a deep sense of loss. It is wanting to replace that loss, but you are wise to work through your regret before you contemplate another pregnancy. There are trained advisors who can help you with coming to terms with your experience. You can follow the link to find a local centre for post abortion support. or ring the national helpline 0300 4000 999.
This story was sent in on 08/02/2010

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