An unplanned pregnancy at 39

I'm a 39 yr old with 2 kids, one aged 20 and one 23.
I've been with my partner 4 yrs, we both decided we didn't want kids, as he also has 2. I was on the pill but after a visit to the dentist was put on antibiotics, which resulted in me becoming pregnant, me and my partner were in shock, but got over it and decided that it wouldn't be so bad.
He then told his parents and family, who were dead against it, their reasons being we were too old, and it would affect his 10yr old, saying he would feel left out, which wouldn't be the case.

He demanded I now get an abortion

Anyway, he came back from his parents and demanded I now get an abortion, saying if I don't he won't be sticking around, which he hasn't.
Now I am in this predicament that I do not know what to do.

Do I have this child on my own, or do I have an abortion to save our relationship, if it can be saved, cos im not sure it can

I feel as if I would always resent him for it and keep bringing it up. I really want to have it, I really don't want an abortion, but I'm scared of doing this alone, I am 12 weeks gone.
He is also giving me the mental torture stuff by saying things like 'I'm selfish to do it', and 'if I go ahead he'll tell everyone I'm just scum as he didn't want it and didnt have a choice'.
All I've done for 2 weeks is cry, I feel that I really need help with this.
I told my doctor, who basically said I was in the driving seat and it's my decision. Is it selfish to go ahead and bring a baby up alone? Am I scum for not doing what he wants? My head is all over the place. Any advice or help would be appreciated

Editor's Comment

I agree with your doctor that this is your decision and you should not be pressurised by your partner. It sounds as though he is being manipulative, and using emotive tactics to make you change your mind. In the end contraception is never 100% safe, and you both have to face your responsibilities if it fails. I think that if you choose abortion to try to save your relationship you are likely to resent your partner, and statistically many relationships fail after abortion. I do believe that if you really want to keep this baby you will have the strength and ability to bring it up even if you are alone. No one can pretend it will be easy but like many challenges it will be very rewarding, and looking back you will probably wonder why you were worrying about it. Please call the national helpline 0300 4000 999 to talk to one of the trained advisors, or follow the link tofind a centre for crisis pregnancy support in your area.

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