41 with an unexpected pregnancy

I am age 41 with an unexpected pregnancy, I am only few weeks.
I had a one night stand with an ex boyfriend and that's how it happened.
I had an abortion 3 years ago while we were still together and it has affected me a great deal.
He does not want me to keep it especially now since we are not even back together. I am worried about many things, birth defects, doing this alone etc.. I do not make much money and live in tiny studio appt and cannot afford anything bigger. I also would not be able to stay home with baby during day and have no other options. I know this sounds very mixed up but my mind is all over place.
I just can't see how I would be able to do this in my current situation. My family cannot help me either.
I am very confused and scared. I don't feel confident I can have this baby and know this is most likely only chance to have a baby. Of course I wish I was married and secure and this would be a blessing but all I can think is how I won't be able to care and provide for my baby.
I know adoption is an option and have given it some thought but know I will get attached and not be able to go through with it.
I am hanging on by string and am also suffering depression after last abortion I have never been the same. What can I do?

Editor's Comment

You sound very torn by the decision facing you, and I appreciate how difficult this is for you. Your previous abortion has left you feeling low and this is something you need to take into account. Will another abortion make you feel more depressed and unhappy? If this was your last opportunity to have a baby would it affect your choice? Lots of difficult things to think through and I think it would help you to talk to an advisor to try and think through these very big questions. Please call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, or follow the link to find a centre for crisis pregnancy support in your area.

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