41 with an unexpected pregnancy
I had a one night stand with an ex boyfriend and that's how it happened.
I had an abortion 3 years ago while we were still together and it has affected me a great deal.
He does not want me to keep it especially now since we are not even back together. I am worried about many things, birth defects, doing this alone etc.. I do not make much money and live in tiny studio appt and cannot afford anything bigger. I also would not be able to stay home with baby during day and have no other options. I know this sounds very mixed up but my mind is all over place.
I just can't see how I would be able to do this in my current situation. My family cannot help me either.
I am very confused and scared. I don't feel confident I can have this baby and know this is most likely only chance to have a baby. Of course I wish I was married and secure and this would be a blessing but all I can think is how I won't be able to care and provide for my baby.
I know adoption is an option and have given it some thought but know I will get attached and not be able to go through with it.
I am hanging on by string and am also suffering depression after last abortion I have never been the same. What can I do?