An unplanned pregnancy

By anonymous on 18/05/2011
Hi. I am currently 8 weeks pregnant with my second child. My first child was planned as I was married.
I am divorced and have a boyfriend who I do not love nor do I feel we will be life long partners. I always said I didn't want another child, I was perfectly happy with only one. As this pregnancy has come as a huge surprise I am having a really hard time dealing with it. I do not love the father and just do not want to spend the next 18 years with this man in my life. I can't imagine aborting this baby, but I also can't imagine birthing it either. I'm so confused, the father does not support abortion and tells me he will ruin my life if I go through with it.
Adoption is not an option as I know if I birth this child I will want to be a good mother to it as I am to my first born. Please help

Editor's Comment

It sounds as though your relationship with your boyfriend is a difficult one. It is good to take his values and beliefs into account but also to do what is right for you. It sounds as though he would want the baby and hopefully support you if you continue with the pregnancy. If the relationship does not last and you split up, you could make formal arrangements so that your boyfriend has clear boundaries and does not intrude into your life apart from seeing his child at arranged times.
You say that you cannot imagine aborting this baby and I wonder how you feel about abortion for yourself? It is an enormous decision and one that is harder when you already have a child and know what it is like to continue a pregnancy and give birth.
There are advisors who can talk this through with you, give you information, and help you as you make your decision. There is no pressure or judgemental attitude but an opportunity to think this through with someone who can be objective, and who is not involved. You can call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for crisis pregnancy support in your area.

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