8 weeks pregnant.

I am 31 and have 4 children and will be 8 weeks pregnant tomorrow.
I am married but my husband and I separated last christmas.
During this time I met someone I have known for quite a few years and I fell pregnant. When I first told him I was pregnant he said he would be part of the child's life but now he is saying he wants nothing to do with it.
My husband and I have also said we would like to try again with our marriage, but I am unsure if I can have a termination as the only reason I would be doing it would be to give myself and my husband a chance, which doesn't feel a good enough reason.
Also I don't feel comfortable with abortion, I know a child is growing inside me and I know if I have a termination I will regret it and it will destroy me, but I don't want to lose my husband in the process.
I have suggested still being a couple me having the baby but not living together, but my husband feels he can't do this and I am unsure what to do. I have a history of depression and also have a blood disorder so operations etc are more risky for me. I hate myself for letting this situation happen, I didn't intend for it to, but I'm really unsure if I can have a termination. I am afraid I would then have to live with the fact that it's my fault if my marriage has broken down.

Editor's Comment

Your life has become very complex and I can understand the struggle you are having making your decision. It sounds as though abortion would be a very difficult option for you, and I wonder whether you would resent your husband if you felt you had done it for him. In the end if your husband really loves you and wants the best for you, he will not want you to do something that would risk your physical or emotional health. Perhaps you could talk it through with him and explain how you feel about termination, and about yopur fear of losing him.

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