I'm 8 weeks pregnant with my ex partner's baby.

I'm a mother of a beautiful 19 month old boy, and up until recently was in a long-term relationship, engaged, with a shared mortgage.
The relationship has always been turbulent and after argument after argument and failed counselling sessions we split up in May, 3 months ago.
Since then we've slept together a couple of times and I'm now eight weeks pregnant.
My ideal situation would be for my ex and I to make up, have the baby and live happily ever after. However, despite my asking, begging even, he has decided he does not want to be with me any more. He is an excellent father and so I was very shocked to hear him tell me he thinks I should get rid of the baby.
I am torn now - do I keep the baby, be a single mum to two children, allow my first child to have a brother or sister of his own (not step-family) and have the two children we had always planned? Or, do I end the pregnancy, move on, and start a new life.
I'm completely and utterly torn. I know if I have the baby he will be involved and will be a good father to both children as he has always been so hands-on with our first child. But when we have separated weekends and my partner is with my son I'm absolutely devastated, so would I just be doubling the pain if I had another baby for him to take from me every other weekend?
I wish I could see into the future to see what life would be like either way!

Editor's Comment

It's very painful for you that the relationship has ended when you are pregnant again. It's good that your ex partner is so committed to your son and wants to be involved in his life. As you say although he has suggested getting rid of the baby, the chances are he would be equally committed to both children.
You have to deal with your feelings as a seperate issue, and accept that even if you choose to end to pregnancy, that event will go with you into any new life that you make. Unfortunately ending a pregnancy does not erase the emotions and memories.
What you need to decide is what you can live with longterm.
Does it feel more comfortable to end the pregnancy or continue the pregnancy and have the baby? Either way you will always have a link with your ex partner, and the impact on a new relationship probably wouldn't be very different whether you had one child or two. If someone new falls in love with you, hopefully he would accept you as you are.
If you would like some more help and support with this enormous decision please contact CareConfidential on 0300 4000 999, log onto Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for pregnancy choices support in your area.
This story was sent in on 21/08/2012

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