I have very recently found out I have become pregnant by accident.

I am a 30 year old woman in a committed and loving relationship.
I have very recently found out I have become pregnant by accident.
It appears the antibiotics I was taking for a toe infection have stopped the pill from working. I am extremely angry that my doctor did not warn me or that the leaflet that came with the antibiotics did not mention any effects on birth control. My boyfriend and I do want children but I am at a stage in my life where I have great plans for the future and having a baby would bring all that to an end.
We currently do not live together and have been saving up for over a year to buy our first house. We need about 6 more months of saving to be able to afford to buy (not even remotely factoring in how much it costs to have a baby).
I have recently started a new job and therefore I would not be entitled to maternity package. This is the first time in my life I have found a job I actually love. I am good at my job and my manager has great plans for my career progression. All this would end if I had a baby now. My boyfriend and I are very responsible people and if we had been irresponsible we would face up to it and try and make the best of the situation. But I can't have a baby because 'that's life' or 's**t happens'. We planned to have children after we had bought a family house (to provide a stable environment), after we had saved money, after we had married, after we had achieved our career goals (and I had achieved a significantly higher salary to support a family), after we achieved our dreams to travel and experience life together just as a couple. And also, very importantly, we would want a child. Be better prepared financially and emotionally to cope with bringing a child into the world. If we had a child now my career prospects would be severely affected. I would not have a maternity package. We would have to rent a property, possibly putting to end out dreams of home ownership.We would struggle financially for a very long time (something we have strived to avoid when becoming parents). I am considering an abortion. But will I be able to live with my decision?
I don't want all my plans and dreams to be taken away from me because I took antibiotics and dared to have sex with my boyfriend at the same time. I am desperately unhappy with this unplanned pregnancy. I have broken down every day since I found out.

Editor's Comment

I can tell that you have really thought this through and considered all your circumstances, and reasons why a baby at this time does not fit into your plans. However, it sounds as though a little part of you is unsure about how you would feel if you chose abortion.
It is these hidden feelings that you should explore to be sure that you would not regret the decision.
The questions you could ask yourself are: how did you feel about abortion for yourself before you knew you were pregnant? and do you feel that abortion is inside or outside your personal value system?
If it would help to talk this through with a trained pregnancy practitioner, they could help and support you in your decision making in an unpressurised situation. It is worth taking a little time to talk it through and be sure, for unplanned pregnancy support. or call the national helpline 0300 4000 999
This story was sent in on 26/12/2014 and it's been viewed 592 times.

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